Archive for the valentine’s day Category

Vinegar Valentines

Posted in absurd, ephemera, humor, valentine's day with tags , , , , on February 12, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

I could have sworn I posted these before, but they don’t turn up in the archives, so I suppose I just collected them years ago in a mad frenzy of right-clicking like I’m so often wont to do.

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Vinegar Valentines were a great way to anonymously troll someone before the advent of the Internet (though arguably trolling had a lot more poetic flare circa 1840-1940 when these artistic tools of debasement were in circulation). There were Vinegar Valentines to suit many types and occasions.

For that annoying PDA couple:
badtaste

The domineering gold digger:
bondage

The Cassanova:
loverboy

The shrill neurotic:
nervedestroyer

The showoff:
showoff-756x1024

The subtle slithering specimen:
snake

These are clearly tame compared to modern insults, but one aspect of humanity consistent throughout the ages is that the Shadow side makes itself known. It should be a rule that trolls must provide a colorful handmade illustration with every hateful comment they leave (this would most likely cut down on the amount of “OMG ur so UgLy…gO dIe!” statements on perfectly nice YouTube videos).

See more at Collectors Weekly.

Loved to Death: Comparative Hearts in Lucite

Posted in anatomy, creatures, nature, sea, valentine's day, wish list with tags , , , , , on February 10, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

If you couldn’t tell, I’m not really a Hallmark card and Whitman’s chocolate sampler kind of girl on Valentine’s Day. A specimen sampler on the other hand…now that’s romantic!

This is a set of 5 genuine hearts, injected with red and blue resin. It includes 1. Fish, 2. Frog, 3. Snake, 4. Pigeon, 5. Rabbit and comes with a numbered key chart. Measures 6 1/2″ x 3″.

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I maintain my extreme discomfort with specimens for which the creature was killed merely for the sake of display, and I haven’t asked the company how these hearts are sourced. But they are rather incredible to look at.

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I haven’t seen too many new items that catch my fancy to post (hence the lack of “Valentine countdowns”). If you find anything amazing, please share!

Loved to Death: Comparative Hearts in Lucite

PS. For a limited time, I’ll be including the link to the page about my medical situation at the bottom of each post. We’re getting there!

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Weird Valentines

Posted in anatomy, art, humor, valentine's day with tags , , , , on February 14, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

I give you my heart…
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David Vargas

I’ve seen a lot of Nicholas Cage valentines, but never one with the expert coloring this one has. Those lips…hot pink…
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be5894959369beb758094ac829310b9e

This isn’t a Valentine at all, but it’s fun.
Capture

The perfect misanthrope cake.
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The only mustachioed volcano I’ve ever seen.
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Lest you think I forgot about the folks getting screwed over in a divorce at present:
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I could probably make a whole post about cards with some variation of this phrase:
valentinea

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And if you’re in the mood for some vintage Valentines, check out:
Vintage Valentines: Monsters and Undead
Vintage Valentines: Ghosts, Witches and Skeletons
Vintage Valentine Roundup: Masochistic, Murderous and Meaty

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Awkward Couple Photos

Posted in humor, photography, valentine's day with tags , , on February 13, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

To alleviate the awkwardness Valentine’s Day brings about for many of us, I offer a series of couples who are almost guaranteed to be more awkward than you are.

Easy, tiger.
Tigre

I can’t see anything in front of me except the afterimage of plaid, which is now burned into my retinas.

Kitsch

This picture has everything: attitude, questionable posing, mixed animal prints, and a killer devotional subtitle.
plat_etudiant_04

I know you’re probably tired of seeing all the parakeet bayonet photos online…but just in case…
Guns

Listen, what you do with phallic fruit behind closed doors is your business, but nobody needs to see this.
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Is that a DRAGON in her hair?
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Awkward? Maybe. But I’d get a portrait like this is a heartbeat.
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Geeks in Love

Posted in geek, humor, music, valentine's day with tags , , , on February 12, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

We’re closing in on the day of the year that Hallmark has determined we should love each other. There are lots of standard hearts and flowers circulating the Interwebs right now, but here’s a tune for those of us whose tastes are a little…off center. This one is for my fellow geeks!  Celebrate your geek love.

Lyrics:
Nobody’s cool as we, nor quite as esoterically far out.
We’re so far out it’s creepy!
I don’t think they’ll ever get the groovy standards that we set for love,
but they’re not smart like we be.

They have no roses.
Subconsciously they envy us a lot.
They look down their noses and see a couple of dorks with more love than they have got!

When they see us holding hands, they wish that they were geeks in love.
And when they hear our favorite bands, they wish that they were geeks in love.
We rattle off our in-jokes while they wish that they were geeks in love.
And while we make each other smile, they wish that they were geeks in…

La la la,
la la la,
la-lubbidy da-diddy love.
La la la,
la la la,
ka-boominy whoah-nelly love.
La la la,
la la la,
ga-shibbidy-waffles-and-love.
La la la,
la la la, la love.

As far as I can tell, while other lovers go through hell,
we’ll know we’re too cool for damnation.
We may not be cutting edge, but we won’t take the mainstream pledge,
for we don’t need your admiration!

They may not show it, it doesn’t fit their made-up little roles.
They don’t even know it, but jealousy abounds within their souls.

When they see us on the street, they wish that they were geeks in love.
And when they hear us trick-or-treat, they wish that they were geeks in love.
As we lock arms and skip away, they wish that they were geeks in love.
And you can almost hear them say they wish that they were geeks in…

La la la,
la la la,
la-lubbidy-do-diddy-love.
La la la,
la la la,
fa-doobidy-ding-dong-love.
La la la,
la la la,
za-muppety-puppety-love.
La la la,
la la la,
sha-peppity-bismol-love.
La la la,
la la la,
a-bubbly-lava-lamp-love.
La la la,
la la la,
ma-spockity-nimoy-love.
La la la,
la la la,
da-ponkity-ponkity-love.
La la la,
la la la,
geekity-geekity-geeks in love.

Geeks in loooove.

Fatally Yours

Posted in anatomy, chocolate, food, skulls and skeletons, valentine's day with tags , , , , on February 8, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

For those of marvelously morbid persuasion (who have some money to burn), Vegan Treats has a limited edition box of chocolates just in time for Valentine’s Day entitled Fatally Yours.

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Packaged appropriately in a custom black heart with gold-embossed “Fatally Yours”. Each chocolate is delicately handmade and finished in gold leaf before being placed in a custom made insert tray for extra protection before dissecting.

fy1

Each box contains:

White Chocolate Bones and Skeletal Hands
Blood-red Velvet White Chocolate Candies
Hazelnut Praline Tiramisu
Caramel-filled (and anatomically correct) Hearts
Peanut Butter Cup Coffins
Coconut Candy
Malt-filled Swiss Chocolate
Passion-less Fruit with Fragrant Vanilla Bean
Jumbo Speculoos skull
Jumbo Peanut Butter Cup Skull
Cookies and Cream White Chocolate Torso

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This chocolate is very well crafted; quite lovely to look at indeed. The $87 price tag makes it a pretty hefty splurge for chocolate, but if anyone has sampled the fine products of Vegan Treats, let me know your review.

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Fatally Yours

Valentine Roundup

Posted in anatomy, food, installations, valentine's day with tags , , , on February 14, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I suppose I’ve made more of a fuss over Valentine’s Day on this blog in previous years. Not sure why it kind of escaped me this time around, but since I didn’t do a countdown or themed posts, here are a few links to “Valentine” goodies (I use the holiday label loosely).

Wild at Heart Installation:

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Rib Cage Cookies:
IMG_0023

X-ray Lovers Portraits:
Adobe Photoshop PDF

I may return with more as the day goes on!