Are you ready for some seriously absurd nouveau-kitsch? Check out the December Diamonds Collection of themed mermen.
Hmmm…light bondage merman?
Straight from the gym, all blinged out and ready for “da club.”
A lollipop? Doctors don’t do that. Trust me…I know.
You know you’re curious about the rest.
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These came up in an unrelated search…and I was intrigued. I could find very little info on them, save for the title of “Santa Breads.”
Does anyone know more about the origin of these glutinous little creepies?
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If you’re sick of sweet holiday cartoons (and heartwarming movies about Christmas dogs…what’s with all those?), check out the Salad Fingers 10th anniversary episode!
I even made a Hubert Cumberdale sock puppet a while back to commemorate a beloved character.
The end features the creepiest gift of all time.
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This is too incredible not to post. A recent ebay purchase arrived with this “free gift” in the box…which, due to its high AV (absurdity value), is greater than the purchase itself.
Here we have the bent, aging, awkward package of a thing you shove over your made-up face so your face doesn’t come off on your shirt.
It was the first thing I saw upon opening the package, and I thought “someone must have gotten this awesome find for me as a gift.”
Note the 1988 manufacturing date on the bottom left. I live for bizarre stuff like this.
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Damn, right in the eye…
Sarcastic ghost is like “Boo…or whatever.”
Watched Poltergeist II the other day (great movie, but the first was awesome), and happened to pause for a break on this comical frame:
Oh, hell yes, haunted kitsch sweater!
Amazing pancakes (check out the one on the lower left…wow!):
![pumpkin pancakes[5]](https://shewalkssoftly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/pumpkin-pancakes5.jpg)
The inclusion of something that has eyes does NOT an eyeball make:
Oh, you think your pumpkin is scary? THIS is how they did it in early 20th Century Ireland.
Ah, the 80’s…when movies had their own cheese-tastic rap theme songs. Take Monster Squad for example. What’s your favorite 80’s horror movie?
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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Due to illness, it’s been well over a year since I’ve done any kind of crafty project. I miss crafting every single day! Although I’m not actually able to leave the house this Halloween, that’s no excuse not to try to make my own fun here!
My lovely cousin Alaine and I had a mini craft party so I could make an idea I had been pondering this past week: ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES SHIRT!
If you are not familiar with this fine film, it is a must-see for any B-movie fan.
So here’s my shirt. I could see people perusing the booths of horror conventions wearing a fine killer tomato face.
Here it is, stuffed with a pillow, looking all round and evil (I’m way too skinny to give it its rightful shape).
I found a random bottle of green hairspray in the house (jackpot, right?) so I thought I’d make my hair into tomato “vines.” This was a marvelous failure. I couldn’t get much color to actually come out of the bottle, so I ended up with splotchy green patches here and there, and a whole lot of compressed air shooting in my face.
Now look at the camera and say FAIL!
I also made a valiant, though completely unsuccessful, effort with the bathroom mirror to get a picture that showed me with the entire T-shirt. I couldn’t use flash due to the reflection, and without flash I couldn’t stay still enough to get a shot that wasn’t blurry enough to be considered bad conceptual art.
Oh well.
As you may remember from Rabid Mouse Attack, I really enjoy making cheap, cheesy horror costumes. Are you dressing up this year? Did you make a costume?
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Now, this had to have started as a joke; overinflated egos toying with masses for fun. I could launch into a massive sociological tirade, but lucky for the folks at A.P.C. and the rash of gullible humans who forked over $120 for this thing…my typing abilities are currently restricted.
I don’t know what’s more discouraging: the fact that this shirt took a COLLABORATION to design (as if it were groundbreaking and not the most common, standard piece of clothing ever sold on this planet, and for under 10 bucks)…or the fact that it actually sold out.
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I came across a post about Aloca’s Book of Decorations (1959, Aluminum Company of America and Artists and Writers Press, Inc.). The star of the show, in this case, is tin foil.
While some may argue these designs are “cute,” I find they fall into that semi-unsettling-for-inarticulate-reasons category that always strikes my fancy.
Foil head coverings are a bit of a stretch.
The camel in the back is pretty cool. He’s just standing there marveling at the freaks next to him.
Not really a majestic mythical beast…but it’s…shiny and crinkly?
Okay Aloca, you got me here. This helmet is badass.
And my Christmas crafts for this coming year…
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I’m starting a new feature on this blog entitled “I Don’t Get Fashion.” Due to my health, it has been two years since I’ve seen the outside world or been to a clothing store. But sometimes I glimpse a trend online, or through some sort of media, and emerge from the vision utterly baffled…like I’m looking at prototypes of an alien invention.
Disclaimer: I’m not trying to hate on anyone or anything. These fashion comments are coming from a former(ish) goth. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously, okay?
Anyway, Fashion, I know you must continue blasting out ever-new trends for eager consumers. But sometimes I still don’t get you.
First case in point: Drop Crotch Slim Harem Pants.
If one needs that “billowy upper leg (only)” feeling, or room for an industrial sized diaper, I guess one has come to the right place. Why not cover those pesky calves snuggly and allow plenty of open thigh chafing space?
You may be asking “what is the perfect body type to pull off this style?” And the answer is none. I’ll save us all the magazine article commentary and cut straight to the truth: no body type can “rock” this. Or even climb the ladder into “mildly passable.”
I can’t help but think each pair is a gruesome tailoring mistake for which any customer would instantly demand a refund (and maybe sue for damages).
I am asking, un-ironically, for anyone to speak out in support of this trend. If you love ’em, let me hear the baggy-crotch backlash! Or feel free to ponder their existence out loud.
SheWalksSoftly 