Archive for absurd

Halloween Countdown: Monster Vitamins (Starring Vincent Price)

Posted in absurd, advertising, animation, halloween, monsters, music, video with tags , , , , , , , on October 14, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

Vincent Price’s voice can make absolutely anything sound ominous with a twist of undeniable sophistication, as evidenced by this 1974 commercial for children’s vitamins.

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Some might say he “sold out” with product endorsements like these. But I think he knew how (comically) amazing various products would be with his iconic presence behind them. I like to believe he enjoyed the irony.

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If you’re feeling particularly masochistic today, you can listen to one side of the “Monster Vitamins Record.” But…you’ve been warned.

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Halloween Countdown: House (Hausu), 1977

Posted in 70's, absurd, film, horror, japan, surreal with tags , , , , , , on October 12, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

In the history of this blog, I don’t think I’ve ever had more to say about the topic of a post than I do about about the movie House (Hausu).

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The film company approached director Nobuhiko Obayashi about making a film similar to Jaws. And he did…if Jaws were about the horror laden psychedelic journey of 7 giggling Japanese schoolgirls visiting a cannibal recluse and her demonic witch-cat. Did I mention the girls are named Gorgeous, Fantasy, Kung Fu, Melody, Mac, Prof and Sweet?

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They proceed to get devoured one by one in the most absurdist fashion imaginable (well, nothing about this movie is actually “imaginable.” It clearly sprang forth from the deepest wellspring of the director’s haunted unconscious). It’s not just as if the movie were made by someone on acid, but as if the movie itself then came alive…and took acid.

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I’ll be going back and creating a GIANT album of incredible screen shots from the film (the ones online don’t do any justice), but I needed to share this with you guys immediately.

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Believe it or not, I’m put off by a lot of “weird for the sake of weird” films. But this is some next level awesomeness. I hesitate to discuss my favorite scenes because I’m holding each and every one of you accountable for seeing this film, and I don’t want to spoil the fun surprises, which come roughly every 6 seconds.

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Yes, that image above is indeed a flying Kung Fu kick from a dismembered lower half of a human body.

Are you running to find this movie yet?

Desktop Goodies 9/17

Posted in 80's, absurd, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, comics, creatures, death, ephemera, food, humor, illustration, macabre, meat, postcards, religion, retro, skulls and skeletons, vintage, you can't handle the cute with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

Be warned:
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Sometimes I write fictional surrealist resumes in my head just for fun. I’m definitely adding “Can appear as a disembodied head and hypnotize crocodiles” to my skill set.
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The daintiest amphibious juggler.
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There is something very wrong with this cat’s hind quarters (or maybe very right as far as he’s concerned).
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An unlikely friendship, indeed.
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There are not nearly enough meat puns in the sentimental postcard industry.
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So delightfully subtle…until you step in the wrong spot, that is.
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Thank you, Rachel, for these next two. I’ll quote her here: “No means NO, Jesus!”
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…but this is a sweater that many can afford. (I’m sure this man’s parrot has become clinically depressed from living with him).
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Genuinely creepy. Not sure where this comes from. Hell, presumably.
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I was going to write an individual comment for each of these, but they kind of work as a dyad.
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I spent a while trying to figure out this “twelfth finger” thing. Does anyone get it?
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Now, a giant chicken absconding with a child, anyone can understand.
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Desktop Goodies 8/24

Posted in absurd, anthropomorphic, Books, cats, comics, humor, illustration, nature, puppets, robots, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 24, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

I’ve been looking at a lot of historical nautical maps lately. What maps lacked in accuracy 500 years ago, they sure made up for with extravagant design. I’d be pretty thrilled if this guy showed up on my GPS.
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Sadly, it’s pretty clear that “solitudes” has a double meaning here.
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I don’t think this is what she meant by “Calgon, take me away!”
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Actually, he said you guys were more like acquaintances. Just sayin’.
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Breathtaking…
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DY-NO-MITE! Actual mites, I mean.
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You mean cats can saw wood and build things while mine have been eating and sleeping all day? Freaking freeloaders.
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Speaking of cats…
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That new fertilizer did wonders for the harvest.
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Ugh. One of those evenings.
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This requires careful planning.
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I stared at this for like five minutes in a futile attempt to decide which one is creepier.
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Image Odyssey: Discontinued Cereals of the 70’s and 80’s

Posted in 70's, 80's, absurd, food, humor, image odyssey, retro with tags , , , , , , , on August 19, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

It’s SO hard to narrow down my search results for this image odyssey. There are legions of bizarre and beloved crunchy, sugary relics to be found. Let’s start with some collages by Like Totally 80’s, where you can also find original commercials. It was all about toy, video games…and doughnuts. Lots of doughnuts. (Click images to enlarge)

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What kind of cold hearted freaks could look at Gizmo and cancel this cereal? Look at those eyes! I’d eat a box that’s been sitting around since 1984 if this creature asked me to.
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Who remembers Body Buddies? I had these as a kid. I think I believed they were healthy because of the deceptive name (and those awesomely strong kids on the box). Dear World, please notify me when sugary corn puffs become healthy. Thanks.
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Barbie? No wonder this failed. Everybody knows she has black coffee and cigarettes for breakfast.
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Poor King Vitaman didn’t reign for long.
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These were before my time, but I’m sad to see any monster cereal go.
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I’m not sure what prompted anyone, ever, to think that grape flavored grains and marshmallows was a good idea. This has to pass…committees and stuff.
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I’m sure this got discontinued because no one wanted to bother writing the name on a grocery list. Still, the premise of a robot who shoots out sweetened morsels when tickled was gold.
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It’s not cereal, folks. It’s a cereal system, which sounds undeniably sophisticated.
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If someone handed me chocolate food…filled with chocolate…I’d be calling him Mr. Wonderful too.
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Desktop Goodies 7/27

Posted in 70's, absurd, Books, death, fashion, horror, humor, illustration, retro, retrofuturism, sci-fi, skulls and skeletons, undead, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

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I think this pairs nicely with the book above.
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Gotta have standards.
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I love how engaged Death is with his book.
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Strangest strike banner ever. Unless you’ve seen a stranger one, in which case I really hope you share it with me.
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Thank you Rachel, for showing me that Saran wrap and Bubble wrap are the fashion of the (retro) future. (Seriously ladies, would you be into a guy who confidently sauntered over to you in bubble wrap thigh highs?)

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I sense a seemingly incorrigible child and a maudlin, happy ending.
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I can forgive the obvious impracticality of having a giant tube directly in the driver’s field of vision, because it’s clearly inspired by atomic structure.
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A wonder what qualifies as a “good” or “mediocre” decapitation.
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“Did anyone notice Grandma looked a little unwell today?
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This could be a poster to promote neutering (PSA: countless healthy animals are put down in shelters due to overpopulation. Have your pet spayed/neutered!)
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Robin Van Valkenburgh

Posted in absurd, craft, humor, sculpture with tags , , , , , on July 13, 2016 by shewalkssoftly

Robin Van Valkenburgh makes what she calls “pop surreal ceramics.”

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Many of these inspire a sense of nostalgia in me, while catering to my love of the absurd (beloved childhood characters mix with traditional ceramic creatures and shapes).

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Robin Van Valkenburgh
Etsy Shop