You’re being welcomed into this post by anthropomorphic hotdog with breasts.
As far as I can tell, this is a real vintage ad. Probably one of the most jaw-dropping examples I’ve seen.
Imagine this is what you’re really standing on.
I prefer my tables without testicles.
Don’t miss the other title by this author on the bottom.
For “elegant women of refinement and taste.”
Just your average note-wielding mouse on a lobster.
I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is this a medical assistance device? Unless it’s equipped with some sort of pulley mechanism to lift bodies in need, I see very little purpose for lying on something LESS comfortable, a few inches above something designed for lying on.
And now, in today’s installment of unappealing instructional material…Meet the man who can tell you how to lick pimples.
Haunted…
In conclusion, cats are the cure for everything.
SheWalksSoftly 
7 responses to “Desktop Goodies: 2/4”
That celery ad beat out the strange hot dog woman…. Wow.
Wow indeed.
Now we know for sure that hotdogs are transgender. After all, she has a wiener.
Speaking of the Devil inspiring blow jobs (or did I read that wrong?), here’s something evil (or wonderful) that you may enjoy:
https://www.google.com/search?q=cocaine+tooth+drops&rlz=1C1VEAD_enUS472US472&espv=2&biw=1344&bih=734&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=J-rSVJuMDZXXoASYoILYBQ&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#imgdii=_&imgrc=GCQGEVoZa74ukM%253A%3Bh_4GSGxLV5G7bM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi.telegraph.co.uk%252Fmultimedia%252Farchive%252F02328%252Fcocaine-tooth-drop_2328302k.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%252Fhealth%252Fhealthpicturegalleries%252F9519906%252FCocaine-tooth-drops-morphine-teething-syrup-and-other-Victorian-quack-cures.html%3B846%3B536
There are so many old ads for currently illegal substances! Heroin is a big one as well. People used to walk around insatiably addicted to Coca Cola because it made them inexplicably feel so great (when it contained cocaine).
Now, we use it to clean car battery heads.
Hotdog woman and testicle table were bad but I think the main thing is I’m never eating celery again.
This casts celery in a whole new unwelcome light.