Tag: meat

Desktop Goodies 1/23

January 23rd, 2012

This has come up in about 5 of the blogs I typically follow…so Cyborg Gorbachev is really asking to be posted.

If I were a few inches tall, this would be my preferred mode of transportation.

Amazing doll concept by Ali Gulec:

These life-like Beavis and Butt-Head statues having been making the Internet rounds as well. Wonderful job crafting a photorealistic and rather horrifying vision of these two, Kevin Kirkpatrick. See a few more shots here.

Why I love being an introvert:

On a related note, I think this would make great club wear for introverts. It really sends the right message if one is not in the mood for human interaction: Come one step closer and I will BITE you!

Finally, the trendy luxury toward which I harbor an extreme distaste finds a home in serial killer apparel. THIS, I like.

I’m with you, Neil!

Fatal Attraction had NOTHING on this:

Bear with me for a moment of extreme adorableness…

And speaking of cats, take a look at what I always pretty much assumed would be my own future (everybody knows it’s not official until facebook says so…this is the real deal):

Ohhhh-kay, so I’ll admit that I only envision myself in a relationship with one or two cats. I’m about quality, not quantity.

Now we come to the portion of this blog post where I try to avoid making a pun about something being “fishy” here…

Usually at least one of my Desktop Goodies will launch me into utter confusion. Today’s baffling example (caption, anyone?):

…and by “Projection Equipment” they mean her brassiere:

Ladies, I’ll leave you with this romantic gift idea: raw meat.
Desktop Goodies 12/13

December 13th, 2011

Soon I will post some holiday goodies, but let’s see what non-celebratory things we have lurking on the desktop today…

To whet your appetite, we’ll begin with this stunning scene (about which I will refrain from commenting):

And for dessert: VITAMIN DONUTS. I believe this was once an actual product.

You can wash those donuts down with a glass of Pilk. It’s deloinkful. (This comes from the parody program “Look Around You”…which is wonderful)

And while we’re on the topic of programs (I wonder if I’ll have to deal with this in my practice someday)…

Does anyone know where this comes from? I can’t place it.

Ooh…getting ideas for future projects from this 17th century secret poison case…

Perhaps I should procure some Pink Pills for Pale People.

Kind of wish I were made of cogs, gears and wires…

Someone’s documented my party habits (except I probably wouldn’t even be drunk):

This post brought to you by Mr. Mandrake Root (wish I could remember where I got this from):
Desktop Goodies

November 6th, 2011

Holy Meatscape! Be still, my cholesterol-laden heart!

Ground control to Major Squirrel…

This is how to get me to follow you anywhere…trail of candy jars.

Ah, art imitating life. These two are positively inseparable in the wild.

Mmmmm…I bet she never slept better.

Take note, gentlemen…getting her in a headlock with a seemingly imminent neck snap MAY spoil the mood. Ladies, take note…limp and lifeless is the proper amorous stance:

I’m not sure if this ad is cute, romantic, obscene, awkward…or all/none of the above.

Now THIS is a hot dog display! Look out, Xmas dinner table of mine…wiener tree is happening!

Which one of these cake wrecks would be the best complement to the wiener tree? Deadpan shock?

…or horrified zombie Santa from Hell?

Speaking of cakes, look at THIS (care of My Ghoul Friday):

I’m sorry, but this is seriously NOT how to become one with Jesus.

I’m used to the term “deluxe” meaning that my sandwich will come with fries on the side…not a severed human head with glass eyes.

Never underestimate what nature does when you’re not looking. I leave you with a philosophical question: if a tree eats a fence in the forest and no one is around to see it…does the fence still get digested in a fibrous mass of sappy, fibrous tree guts?
Desktop Goodies 9/29

September 29th, 2011

Quite an interesting articulation…

Couldn’t help but laugh at this:

Aww…it wouldn’t surprise me if someone started selling soaps on Etsy designed to look like these (there has been a surprising amount of fetus soap…why not put a sea life spin on it?).

A vintage depiction of an onion bringing HERSELF to tears. How meta.

Yes, it’s a claw…but doesn’t it look like an alien head?

So much pink…so much…meat. Valiant effort on the part of the meat roller.

The logical dessert spread after a setup like the above would clearly come from this book:

I’ve seen some bad wax figures, but Wax Jesus is looking a little rough.

I suppose it could be worse…these things could be happening.

Ha! No idea where this comes from, but it’s entertaining.

Here, have some emotions:

And now for your daily dose of confusion:
Carl Warner: Landscapes of the Meal

September 26th, 2011

Without knowing where it came from, I featured one of Carl Warner wonderful meatscapes in this desktop goodies post.

Turns out, there are many more “Landscapes of the Meal” where that came from!

When I first saw these images, I thought they were strictly graphic design, but they are actual sculptures.

Creating an edible landscape takes several days. First designed by selected foods. Then two or three days spent on the construction and landscape photography…each scene is photographed layers. Just a few days spent on retouching and combining all layers and elements of photography.

See more absolutely amazing foodscapes here and on Carl Warner’s website.
Desktop Goodies 8/15

August 15th, 2011

Let’s begin this post with a luminous sunrise over the rolling hills of a meatscape…

As you may know by now, I love photos of glistening industrial structures.

Nature is amazing.

Two bits of street art that really grabbed my attention recently:

Excellent display.

He’s late for a very important date, indeed…

No idea:

Had this mode of transportation been available to me, I might have attempted to attend Sunday school…once.

I know nothing about the origin of this illustration, save for the title: “Experiment With a Unicorn Horn.”

Arguably the world’s most useful superpower:

I wonder if there’s a number around which the subject matter starts to get a bit tired (101? Really? It’s almost impressive).

Ooh…the candle makes it fancy.

A beautiful clock (it sings!) for the minimalist:

Where is this an actual problem?

I’ve saved the best for last. Here’s a great wedding greeting to send all your newlywed friends. Feel free to post your interpretations in the comments.
Desktop Goodies

June 18th, 2011

Classic toy…mildly menacing…

The glowing soul of an industrial plant…

One of those days.

Fire retardant shorts? Not doing a very good job, it seems.

Take THAT, Lady Gaga…you’re not the first to dress in meat.

And here we have the inspiration for The Human Centipede; the worst sculpture in the known universe.

Awesome.

I give you heart shaped whale anatomy…for future use on your handmade valentines.

Welcoming, indeed.

And I leave you with this sage advice:
Vintage Valentine Roundup: Masochistic, Murderous and Meaty

February 12th, 2011

I’ve collected hundreds of vintage Valentine images, but I’m not currently in possession of the hard drive that houses them all. Here are a few that I recently saved to my desktop. Cutesy Valentines abound, so here are some that showcase the darker leanings of the holiday.

Welcome to the gun show…

Double pun action!

Let this be a lesson not to mix your puns:

Refusal is not advised…

Fiery sentiments…

Of Feline Bondage…

I don’t trust him…

Is she implying that she’s a piece of crap?

Submissive Cow looks like the sad, daytime talk show guest of the animal kingdom.

In other words…”eat me.”

If someone could kindly explain this creature to me…

And the award for most depressing Valentine ever goes to…SUICIDAL SKUNK! He has not one, but TWO ways to off himself, ready and waiting. You can tell by the look on his face that he’s not going to snap out of this so easily. It’s hardcore.
Pavlov’s Steak

October 17th, 2010

I greatly admire the work of Ivan Pavlov. Turns out the Yale University archives have a piece of meat signed by Pavlov himself.

Pavlov was visiting pioneer brain surgeon Harvey Cushing when a piece of new surgical equipment caught his eye.

Pavlov was captivated by the new electrosurgical knife Cushing used in the operation, and at the end of the procedure, Cushing got a piece of beef so that the elder scientist could try his hand. After making a few incisions, Pavlov inscribed his name into the meat. “I asked him whether he wanted me to eat the meat in the hope of improving my conditional reflexes,” Cushing wrote in his journal, “or whether we could keep it in the museum, the latter we will proceed to do—’Pavlov’s beef-steak.’” A collector of old medical books and of brain tumors, when he died in 1939 Cushing bequeathed both to Yale, where his rare books would become the cornerstone for creating the Medical Historical Library.

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Desktop Goodies

August 21st, 2010

The image above…perhaps designed to be mildly unsettling…is nowhere NEAR as unsettling as this (originally un-ironic) piece of Thrift Horror:

Quite possibly my favorite comic panel of the month:

Now onto a little anatomy…

Nice legs…

If I had the proverbial “thinking cap,” I might want it to look a bit like this:

And speaking of thinking…perhaps “brain bats” are a great descriptive metaphor for certain mental states.

In my humble opinion, “vacation hair” may be among the least of his problems.

Fish heads, fish heads…

That photo reminds me of this extremely surreal video:

And now to cater to my love of flying squirrels (can anyone really be unmoved by this degree of sweet awesomeness?)…

This post brought to you by meat.