Medical hiatus no-typing mix…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond at the moment.
Category: thrift horror
-
-
-
-
-
I think I’ve posted one of these in a Desktop Goodies post, but it’s time to show the whole fabulous set.
Never has toilet paper been so all-encompassing. Soft-Weve inspires entire rooms! Evening gowns around the house!
Heck, I’d coordinate everything with my toilet paper too for laugh one day…if it weren’t white…and who knows when I last wore white?
-
My desktop is especially cluttered with treats right now, but I’ll choose a few to share…
I have a massive collection of vintage Krampus greetings, but this one (shared by my friend Kevin) was new to me this year. It is perhaps one of the most ominous holiday greetings in existence.

Well, I guess THIS could happen too.

Santa, eat some cookies. This doesn’t look…natural.

Santa’s true anatomy is clearly documented here:

“Have a Living Christmas Tree Ornament in the House.” Yes folks, remember that pets are nothing more than objects to adorn for your own amusement (I’ve had a few retrospectively comedic instances of people not picking up on my sarcasm, but anyone who has followed this blog knows I adore and respect pets more than most humans).

In the mid 20th century it was proper etiquette to smile during imminent danger.

Okay kids, on the count of three, smile and say FIERY HORROR!

Ice cream on a tree? I like the way you think.

For some reason I really enjoy this old catalog page, despite not actually liking most of the candy in it (people choose hard candies when chocolate exists?). Points for aesthetics though.

-
Holy Meatscape! Be still, my cholesterol-laden heart!

Ground control to Major Squirrel…

This is how to get me to follow you anywhere…trail of candy jars.

Ah, art imitating life. These two are positively inseparable in the wild.

Mmmmm…I bet she never slept better.

Take note, gentlemen…getting her in a headlock with a seemingly imminent neck snap MAY spoil the mood. Ladies, take note…limp and lifeless is the proper amorous stance:
I’m not sure if this ad is cute, romantic, obscene, awkward…or all/none of the above.
Now THIS is a hot dog display! Look out, Xmas dinner table of mine…wiener tree is happening!

Which one of these cake wrecks would be the best complement to the wiener tree? Deadpan shock?

…or horrified zombie Santa from Hell?

Speaking of cakes, look at THIS (care of My Ghoul Friday):

I’m sorry, but this is seriously NOT how to become one with Jesus.

I’m used to the term “deluxe” meaning that my sandwich will come with fries on the side…not a severed human head with glass eyes.

Never underestimate what nature does when you’re not looking. I leave you with a philosophical question: if a tree eats a fence in the forest and no one is around to see it…does the fence still get digested in a fibrous mass of sappy, fibrous tree guts?

-
Quite an interesting articulation…

Couldn’t help but laugh at this:

Aww…it wouldn’t surprise me if someone started selling soaps on Etsy designed to look like these (there has been a surprising amount of fetus soap…why not put a sea life spin on it?).

A vintage depiction of an onion bringing HERSELF to tears. How meta.

Yes, it’s a claw…but doesn’t it look like an alien head?

So much pink…so much…meat. Valiant effort on the part of the meat roller.

The logical dessert spread after a setup like the above would clearly come from this book:

I’ve seen some bad wax figures, but Wax Jesus is looking a little rough.

I suppose it could be worse…these things could be happening.
-
It’s been a while since I’ve done a thrift horror post, so here are a few recent goodies.
Is there a medical condition that causes two-tone bodies?

Two words: Wolf Eyes (and I ain’t talking about the band).

Frankenbunny…the perfect toy for undead children (that “cotton tail” almost looks like something is bubbling out of him *shudder*).

Pilgrim Children…of the Damned.

Ow. It hurts to look at these. Streeeeeeeetch….

“Oh honey…I want a portrait to remember you just as you are now…crying and depressed.”

Santa is either drunk, or serious about his Pilates routine.

And speaking of Santa, here he is incorporated into a mind-blowingly bizarre tribute (I almost feel offended by this…but I’m not exactly sure how).

Look at this shifty-eyed, shady bear! Lecherous creature! Hide your children.

I always pictured Jesus as a fat lumberjack.

Today’s forecast: cheesy with a chance of scattered awful.

I find this idea cruel, actually. Don’t tease me with your pastry realism.

Party Aardvark bids you farewell…

Most images taken from here.















































