Category: humor

Halloween Countdown: Worst Homemade Costumes

October 21st, 2015

This was a random image odyssey that led me to some memorably atrocious child costumes.

ET phone…the police, because someone is obviously about to be killed.

Speaking of…this looks murderous. Is it just me?

Clowns are the best potentially horrific child costumes, because it takes only the slight bit of makeup gone askew to create the look of pure nightmares.

All kid clowns probably look like this by the end of the day though.

Spiderman. Clearly. Or a postmodern conceptual costume in which the child is dressed as a precaution against improper measuring.

Thank you for the nifty label, or I might have hazarded any number of other guesses.

This almost makes me sad. But the child’s unicorn sass makes me feel better.
Desktop Goodies 9/9

September 9th, 2015

McDonald’s Icecapades…how was this not traumatizing for children (or was it)?

This looks like the Codex Gigas.

And then we have the Holy Bible, which apparently has a wider readership than I had suspected…

Seduction for Dummies (*groan*).

Make sure you order a DIET soda with this to save calories.

Puts things in perspective, no?

So true…

A dinosaur’s preferred travel method.

I wish I did!

I couldn’t find an artist for this image anywhere. Any ideas?

Ah, finally a realistic series.

Pants on fire!
The Best Worst Shirt Ever

August 30th, 2015

A loved one introduced me to a term he and a friend coined many years ago: The Wrap Around. Essentially, when something is so incredibly, mind-blowingly bad that it becomes utterly fantastic…it “wraps around” (yes, we’ve all heard “so bad it’s good” but I feel The Wrap Around is a tidier, more effective term for the phenomenon).

The BEST example I’ve seen in ages of something that clearly wraps around is the The Mountain Fall Kitty Tee.

Soak in every detail (right down to the color coordinated scarf). I’ll wait.

………..

…………….

Note: Fall Kitty is 100% irony free and contains 0% self awareness.

It’s perfection in every single way except for the fact that it doesn’t come in my size. I believe it starts in a men’s medium.

I’d venture to say I’d never be caught dead with a man who would NOT wear this shirt.

The Mountain Fall Kitty Tee
Nimbus the Nihilist

August 26th, 2015

I’m starting a new feature here on SWS: Nimbus the Nihilist. Although she’s a happy, loving girl off camera, in nearly every photograph Ms. Nimbus appears to be in the throes of existential crisis. No one knows why, so we must assume she is a precociously philosophical feline who often ruminates on what it all means…or doesn’t mean.

Join me as I chronicle her many expressions of existence’s profound futility (coupled with classic quotes to encapsulate what I imagine she’s thinking).

I’m starting with my oldest photographs of her two months ago when she joined my home, so you can witness her nihilism blossom over time. If you have any favorite quotes that might be appropriate for future posts, please share!
Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser

August 17th, 2015

Apparently, today is Black Cat Appreciation Day (who knew?). Far be it from me to miss ANY opportunity to show some love for black cats (I’ve been cuddling with my beloved Dr. Morbius all morning).

I present the latest addition to Dr. Morbius and Ms. Nimbus’s ever expanding toy collection. I think you’ll agree it’s pretty much the greatest cat toy ever made: The Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser!

Yep, it’s a Freddy Krueger glove…with MICE. I was hoping to get some quality action shots, but alas, cats are not always the best photo subjects on cue. However, I don’t see how anyone could resist buying a Prancing Prey Puppet Teaser at first glance!

Tell me your favorite black cat (or any cat) story.
Frog Cakes…A Loose Interpretation

August 15th, 2015

You’d be surprised how different bakeries execute the task of making a “frog cake.”

For reference, this is what a frog actually looks like.

And now for some examples of generous amphibian artistic liberty!

This gorgeous lady is all made for date night.

Don’t know what frog limbs look like? Tentacles curling in on themselves with random smatterings of black gunk is a fair guesstimate.

What are those blue dollops of icing on the head? Anyone? I can’t say I understand the mouth either.

This isn’t how legs work.

This isn’t how anything works. But if the customer requested “Oscar the Grouch as a nuclear casualty,” this cake would be on point.

From the fine folks at Cake Wrecks.
Cringe Worthy Bible Rap

August 9th, 2015

I dare you to watch this slice of religious musical embarrassment without cringing. Also, pretend it’s 1984.

Yes, this is real. No, Run DMC and the Beastie Boys, they are not.
Sung Jae Kim: Ice Cream Melting

July 11th, 2015

I think this sculpture by Sung Jae Kim would make a great decoration to haul out at the beginning of summertime.

And from now on, temperatures should be measured on a progressive scale of Pleasant, Warm, Hot, The Popsicles are Terrified!

If you thought you’d probably never witness an ice cream bar having an existential crisis…you thought wrong.

You can see this little guy come to life step by step HERE.
Desktop Goodies 7/10

July 10th, 2015

Apologies for skipping a couple days this week, but between huge health setbacks and mold remediation in the SWS house, things are a bit hectic.

What happened on this beach to necessitate a sign like this (well, I guess that’s self-explanatory).

What question did someone ask him to warrant this answer? Ideas?

I’m assuming this is a gag product (the source where I found it said it’s unironic, which was perhaps more entertaining than the ad itself).

Facing the shadow…

I had to look up where this fellow came from. Now I must see Ultraman Tarou. Has anyone seen it?

Well, that’s supportive.

Careful, parents, it could happen to you.

Answer: don’t.

Now THIS cat is a work of art.

“Hey, you’ll never believe where I’m calling from.”
How to Talk to Your Cat About…

June 25th, 2015

With two new kittens in the house (who have completely dominated my heart and attention since they arrived 4 days ago), I realized it’s never too early to educate them on important topics.

This collar…perfection.

Yes, these are real pamphlets, available here.

This post is dedicated to my boy Dr. Morbius (after Forbidden Planet, as opposed to Marvel comics Dr. Michael Morbius…I can’t believe I’m geeky enough to specify that distinction) and my little lady, Ms. Nimbus.

Lest you had any doubt that I’m totally out of my mind, their FULL names are Dr. Morbius Doodles and Ms. Nimbus Biscuit. All I can say is…you’d get it if you met them. I promise.