Category: food

Christmas Desktop Goodies

December 20th, 2011

My desktop is especially cluttered with treats right now, but I’ll choose a few to share…

I have a massive collection of vintage Krampus greetings, but this one (shared by my friend Kevin) was new to me this year. It is perhaps one of the most ominous holiday greetings in existence.

I suppose there’s also this:

Well, I guess THIS could happen too.

Santa, eat some cookies. This doesn’t look…natural.

Santa’s true anatomy is clearly documented here:

And here:

Hot.

Much jolly-ness…

“Have a Living Christmas Tree Ornament in the House.” Yes folks, remember that pets are nothing more than objects to adorn for your own amusement (I’ve had a few retrospectively comedic instances of people not picking up on my sarcasm, but anyone who has followed this blog knows I adore and respect pets more than most humans).

In the mid 20th century it was proper etiquette to smile during imminent danger.

Okay kids, on the count of three, smile and say FIERY HORROR!

Speaking of…

Ice cream on a tree? I like the way you think.

For some reason I really enjoy this old catalog page, despite not actually liking most of the candy in it (people choose hard candies when chocolate exists?). Points for aesthetics though.

Now for an EEEEEEVIL twist:

And from my Sinister Gift Guide:

Sorry abomindable snowman…I find you kind of adorable.
Desktop Goodies 12/13

December 13th, 2011

Soon I will post some holiday goodies, but let’s see what non-celebratory things we have lurking on the desktop today…

To whet your appetite, we’ll begin with this stunning scene (about which I will refrain from commenting):

And for dessert: VITAMIN DONUTS. I believe this was once an actual product.

You can wash those donuts down with a glass of Pilk. It’s deloinkful. (This comes from the parody program “Look Around You”…which is wonderful)

And while we’re on the topic of programs (I wonder if I’ll have to deal with this in my practice someday)…

Does anyone know where this comes from? I can’t place it.

Ooh…getting ideas for future projects from this 17th century secret poison case…

Perhaps I should procure some Pink Pills for Pale People.

Kind of wish I were made of cogs, gears and wires…

Someone’s documented my party habits (except I probably wouldn’t even be drunk):

This post brought to you by Mr. Mandrake Root (wish I could remember where I got this from):
Gingerbread Phantom Manor

December 6th, 2011

Now this is what I’d like to make as a holiday gingerbread house!

Haunted Dimensions has a cookie version of Phantom Manor (Disneyland Paris’s version of the Haunted Mansion, which I did get to visit many years ago as a haunt-loving 13 year old).

Here is the Manor:

Et, viola!

Should you wish to attempt the undoubtedly time consuming but rewarding venture of making this house, Haunted Dimensions was kind enough to share the process and design templates here.

If you are a Haunted Mansion fan, it’s definitely worth browsing the 3D models, paper models and graphics on the rest of Haunted Dimensions.
Largest Commercially Available Pizza

November 17th, 2011

If there’s one thing I like more than a favorite food, it’s a GIANT version of a favorite food. Here we have the largest commercially available pizza, recently featured on That’s Nerdalicious.

It measures 4′ X 6′ and feeds 100 people for $199. Mama and Papa’s Pizzeria can deliver to your home with 24 hours notice. I really wish I could get this in NY…it would be front and center at my next party.

Then I’d stuff myself and take a nap in the box.
Desktop Goodies

November 6th, 2011

Holy Meatscape! Be still, my cholesterol-laden heart!

Ground control to Major Squirrel…

This is how to get me to follow you anywhere…trail of candy jars.

Ah, art imitating life. These two are positively inseparable in the wild.

Mmmmm…I bet she never slept better.

Take note, gentlemen…getting her in a headlock with a seemingly imminent neck snap MAY spoil the mood. Ladies, take note…limp and lifeless is the proper amorous stance:

I’m not sure if this ad is cute, romantic, obscene, awkward…or all/none of the above.

Now THIS is a hot dog display! Look out, Xmas dinner table of mine…wiener tree is happening!

Which one of these cake wrecks would be the best complement to the wiener tree? Deadpan shock?

…or horrified zombie Santa from Hell?

Speaking of cakes, look at THIS (care of My Ghoul Friday):

I’m sorry, but this is seriously NOT how to become one with Jesus.

I’m used to the term “deluxe” meaning that my sandwich will come with fries on the side…not a severed human head with glass eyes.

Never underestimate what nature does when you’re not looking. I leave you with a philosophical question: if a tree eats a fence in the forest and no one is around to see it…does the fence still get digested in a fibrous mass of sappy, fibrous tree guts?
Halloween Countdown: Sunday Sweets

October 30th, 2011

I know I already posted some Halloween wedding cakes, but I couldn’t resist snagging a few favorites from the Cake Wrecks Sunday Sweets collections.

I’d like to see a lineup of Universal monster busts from this creator:

Coulrophobia (fear of clowns) is supposedly rather common, though I can’t imagine why.

It’s rare to find a cake this conceptually original. Fantastic!

Some nice Jack-O-Lanterns…

And last but not least…if Dr. Frankenstein were a pastry chef…

I really like how the creator opted for subtle airbrushing over straight up gore. So much more unsettling. Brilliant!
Halloween Countdown: Desktop Treat Bag 10/25

October 25th, 2011

This little baby buggy tends to circulate every year on various sites. Awww…precious.

Swoon-worthy decoration…

I’d like to see real photos of these:

These as well…

A lovely sculpture by Kate MacDowell:

Ugh…there were always the dreaded houses that dispensed awful Brach’s candy when I was a kid. No one even wanted to trade this stuff.

And arguably even worse…

(I’m not anti-raisin, but this is HALLOWEEN…who wants to gather typical lunchbox fare?)

Definitely an inspirational image for awesome kitschy decoration:

Best passive-aggressive note card ever:

Well, hello there.

One lump, or two?

This is either pretty great, or a sad sign made by a dyslexic man named Brian:

Hang on while I hyperventilate because this collection is so fantastic (wish I had the source!):

Groovy retro style pattern:

Not intended for Halloween…but amazing:

Also unrelated, but this octopus looks monstrously friendly. He’s smiling. At you.
Halloween Countdown: Halloween Wedding Cakes

October 23rd, 2011

I think I’ve actually posted this cake before, but it’s pretty neat:

Source

Gorgeous!

Source

Classy:

(image source defunct)

Source

Now, this one is pretty cool due to its insane attention to detail and expert construction…

Source
…but honestly, ENOUGH with the Nightmare Before Christmas cakes. I gushed over the first few I saw many years ago, but now there are thousands. Love the movie. Love the aesthetics. But I suppose I’m craving some new themes in Halloween cake territory.

I’d actually like to see a cake covered in black fondant with classy white piping (perhaps a “Memento Mori” theme…winged skulls and such) with red velvet inside.

There are a ton of zombie, skeleton and other assorted undead cake toppers out there, but check THESE out!
Halloween Countdown: Misc. Treat Bag

October 17th, 2011

I don’t have sources for all of these, but here are some Halloween goodies that have been popping up on the Web lately.

Sweet…

I believe I got these two from The Last Goddess:

One day I’m going to do some window silhouettes for the Halloween season…

I’d like to see what the “tricks” are. I’ve used A LOT of black thread in my day.

This actually wasn’t made for Halloween, but…what’s with the demon snake eyes? I find this more terrifying than most horror illustrations.

And now from the simple-but-neat “why didn’t I think of that file:”

I very much want this…

This, on the other hand, is not AS appealing:

A couple of fine ways to travel if you’re dead:

A little unrelated but was this…a thing?

Amazing autumn maple…

Awesome idea for innovative pumpkin decoration…the junk-o-lantern!

I’m sure there are more “treat bag” posts on the way. Image suggestions are welcome!
Halloween Countdown: Cookie Roundup

October 11th, 2011

Cookies ain’t just for eating anymore! These little bits of sugar and starch are the modern day mini canvas. I’ve enjoyed the boom in pastry arts over the past few years (though it would be tough to eat any of this artwork).

Here are a few favorites that turned up on Etsy for the Halloween season.

New Orleans inspired mini-voodoo set by CookieMamas:

Adorable animal skeletons by AuCourantCookieCo:

More cute skeletons by MissBettyCakes:

Amazing gingerbread corpses by LegraLand (okay, so these are technically ornaments…but they are too unique not to include):

Sometimes a simple idea is just nicely executed…like these spider web cookies by SweetAmbs:

Skull cameo cookies by cerassweetshop:

These may be the finest sugar skull day of the dead cookies I’ve ever seen, by baked:

This Etsy search was very enjoyable, but there were also some pretty sad items up for sale.

(I’m keeping this seller anonymous because I feel too bad insulting someone’s genuine attempt at heartfelt baking…we’ve all had some craft fails…it’s okay).

Has anyone come across incredible baked goods this season?