Category: absurd

Desktop Goodies 4/1

April 1st, 2012

Well, Spring is upon us here in the US. Though if Spring came to my door looking like this, you can bet I wouldn’t let it in.

Here’s a motivational poster for you fine folks:

What are the chances I could still get this T-shirt if I fill out the order form?

I believe I got this from A Wren’s Life’s Pinterest. Why aren’t there more images of people wrestling Death on medical packaging these days?

I’ve never seen a raven-haired man with a stark white beard, but now I know there’s a solution of such a man wishes to coordinate his whiskers.

One thing any man of mine will not have to worry about (if he doesn’t getting me going about art or science):

Quite possibly the best tombstone epitaph I’ve ever seen:

What happens when acorns are laced with cocaine…

No idea what these are (maybe one of you will know), but I think I like them.

The only way to travel…

This gets major points for being two things: 1) zombie nesting dolls 2) A CAKE.

And speaking of food, I shouldn’t have seen these…because now I will undoubtedly surprise unsuspecting guests with them one day (I’d carry them out facing backwards so the faces are extra shocking).

Though I don’t use much glitter in my projects these days, I very much relate to this (from Para Abnormal):

I’ve been quite under the weather lately, and this piece fairly accurately describes how I feel.

My very favorite closet light:

And lastly…we knew someone would jump on the chance to do this.
Desktop Goodies 3/20

March 20th, 2012

Let’s start with an amazing ~~real life Batmobile~~ pig shaped food truck! I’ve never seen anything like this. Completely awesome.

And speaking of bats, this was actually a political cartoon of yesteryear:

When was the last time you saw a bat in striped boxer shorts?

Does anyone know the artist for this painting? I love the color scheme and lighting.

Excellent parenting:

“Gee, it’d be mighty swell if you’d be my date for the apocalypse!”

I feel like I’m looking into my future:

Don’t be fooled by brilliant marketing, ladies…I’ve worn apple scented perfume for 15 years and have yet to be bitten.

Who are YOU going to believe?

Where I sneak away at night…

Next time you’re on a boat, remember that this is exactly what’s going on underneath you.

LOVE these gentle specters:

A photo that takes my breath away:

This is an actual Victorian dress, as far as I know. I’d love to meet the woman who wore this color during that era.

And while we’re on the topic of vintage attire, this is what women used to wear before we only had the option of prepackaged “slutty hornet.”

(2012 versions often cover less than a swimsuit and have titles like “Queen Bee-otch”…I’m not kidding)

The “magpie” costume actually looks very much like my prom dress in 1997.

This costume beats them all though (insert choice pun about “hamming it up”).

The end.
Vintage Creepy Doll Commercial

March 12th, 2012

Does anyone have information about this company or product? All I know is, this commercial is AMAZING.

Really…take 30 seconds of your life to watch this.

Source
Desktop Goodies 3/4

March 4th, 2012

Alnwick Garden is now on my destination list.

The one kind of “medicine” I’d really like to overdose on:

Amazing outfits ahead! This was taken in 1915 (probably what I would have worn if I were around in that time period):

And now an incredible “sport dress” from 1885:

So, is this pretty much the greatest sweater of all time…or THE greatest sweater of all time?

And now for the requisite skeletons that somehow make it into all of these posts. I may have actually featured this before, but I just love it so much.

Be careful when someone asks to “pick your brain.” It may be literal.

With tooth-care proofs of purchase, one could acquire this fabulous dental clock from Zonweiss (well, a rather long time ago anyway):

Mmm…I love the hazy glow of this photo…

When writing a letter to me, please address it as such:

This is how I lift my elephants, too.

I do enjoy de-contextualized slices of vintage printed work…

Absolutely a cause for celebration!

Bats: is there anything they CAN’T do?

Oddly, a few images of bats dealing with headless things grace my desktop at the moment.

This one puts me in a good mood, instantly.

I confess to a bit of library corner lust for this globe lamp:

And these rings are wonderful (yet another example, like most of these images, of lack of sourcing in micro-blogs…does anyone know who makes these?):

I’ll close this post with a monstrously sweet image by McLean Kendree.
Valentine Miscellania Part 1

February 12th, 2012

Amazing craft idea for the zombie lover in your life!

Imaginary boyfriends are the best.

This is how to get ALL the ladies!

Who knew cupid’s name was…DAN?

Unparalleled romance:

On a related note, the Newton Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant in Brooklyn is offering a morning tour of its sludge processing facility (I’m not kidding!)

My kinda cupid!

If I ever get married, I would shower my husband with beautiful sentiments like this:

You’ll rarely hear me say this, but…forget the chocolate…I want the box!

I forgot to put this fellow, all spiffy in his Valentine suit, in my Bat Valentine post:

Many folks who frequent this blog would probably appreciate the Tim Burton Valentine Card Set.

Boo Boo the Valentine Ghost just wants someone to love him.

And a couple of other sculpted creatures I found, without artist credit.
Desktop Goodies 2/8

February 8th, 2012

A new piece by Mark Ryden to lust after…

An age old patent for all your cow facade needs:

The ORIGINAL stairway to heaven:

Beautiful sandcastle by Adam Gormley:

Excellent idea!

Great party game:

Why not surprise your loved one with an unforgettable toy this Valentine’s Day?

Oh, BELIEVE IT!

At this restaurant, the only thing higher than the lobster towers is the staff’s hair.

I can almost hear the sweet, melodious tune of this duet.

They say history repeats itself. This political cartoon should be reprinted…

Now, I know it’s exaggerated for dramatic effect here, but this is pretty much exactly what my mind’s eye envisions when someone sneezes near me:

Heh. Wait ’til the 21st Century, girl…it’s called the Internet.

But alas…love hurts.

My best friend loves pickles. I sense an edible Pickle Circus setup at a birthday gift!

And I’ll finish off with a video that begs the question “Why is every sport that looks mildly appealing to me a century old and long since laughed out of existence?”
Impromptu Groundhog Day Megapost II

February 2nd, 2012

I never intend to post about this holiday, but I once again got wrapped up in some nifty searches.

How about a few vintage treats to start?

Is the groundhog the instructor, or part of the recipe?

“Nice marmot.”

I’ve learned that anything can be turned into an occasion for beer. Too bad I don’t like beer. Where are the Groundhog Day chocolate parties?

How about a little “art?”

Punxsutawney Phil the Seer of Seers:

King Henry Groundhog (hm?):

How about a painted groundhog tart pan? My goodness, this is depressing.

At least this soap is a bit more cheerful.

This poor guy looks like he’s undergoing an uncomfortable medical procedure.

Colorful…postmodern…

And now for your daily dose of euphemism: the Jolly Groundhog:

Innnnnnnteresting…(I love how this next one is available on “Fine Art America”).

Now this, I really like:

Bloody Groundhog Day:

You better recognize.

And a little taxidermy…

GAH! (The store this comes from is actually pretty great)

His posture is sublime:

The groundhog saw his shadow this morning, so that means six more weeks of…this?

In closing…

Don’t miss the absurd finds on last year’s Groundhog Day post!
Desktop Goodies

January 31st, 2012

Although I’m largely opposed to the idea of food in pill form (since eating is one of the finest pleasures in life), this is a pretty fine looking meal tray:

Love the movie…love this piece by Teetering Bulb.

Yeah, this is how most of my days start too…

Oh model in your lovely spine dress, I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave…

Great photograph by Helen Warner:

ACTION JEANS! My ACTION SWEATPANTS actually have some of the same properties. Gotta be prepared if a fight breaks out while I’m scouring the Internet for art and reading science books in my room.

With the sheer proliferation of puns in this text, it must be self-aware, right?

On a related note, I’ve posted about vintage parade floats before, but here’s a new favorite:

Skullball Machine!

Speaking of skulls…

I’m not sure what it says about me that I put this image in my “Valentine” folder:

Paint just gets EVERYWHERE…

And while we’re on the subject of art, leave it to Regretsy to design this handy measurement tool for the less desirable side of some artistic personalities:

I’m not a camper, but I want this tent! Makes me want to venture out into the wilderness (which may or may not mean my own backyard).

And I’ll finish off with the desktop dose of confusion; trading cards seen on Agence Eureka.

Mmmm…steak in a can. That’s the good stuff.
Desktop Goodies 1/23

January 23rd, 2012

This has come up in about 5 of the blogs I typically follow…so Cyborg Gorbachev is really asking to be posted.

If I were a few inches tall, this would be my preferred mode of transportation.

Amazing doll concept by Ali Gulec:

These life-like Beavis and Butt-Head statues having been making the Internet rounds as well. Wonderful job crafting a photorealistic and rather horrifying vision of these two, Kevin Kirkpatrick. See a few more shots here.

Why I love being an introvert:

On a related note, I think this would make great club wear for introverts. It really sends the right message if one is not in the mood for human interaction: Come one step closer and I will BITE you!

Finally, the trendy luxury toward which I harbor an extreme distaste finds a home in serial killer apparel. THIS, I like.

I’m with you, Neil!

Fatal Attraction had NOTHING on this:

Bear with me for a moment of extreme adorableness…

And speaking of cats, take a look at what I always pretty much assumed would be my own future (everybody knows it’s not official until facebook says so…this is the real deal):

Ohhhh-kay, so I’ll admit that I only envision myself in a relationship with one or two cats. I’m about quality, not quantity.

Now we come to the portion of this blog post where I try to avoid making a pun about something being “fishy” here…

Usually at least one of my Desktop Goodies will launch me into utter confusion. Today’s baffling example (caption, anyone?):

…and by “Projection Equipment” they mean her brassiere:

Ladies, I’ll leave you with this romantic gift idea: raw meat.
Rate My Rat

January 17th, 2012

Rate My Rat is an ingenious plan to call attention to the ways in which NYC publicly funded Subway cleanup is sorely lacking. New Yorkers have been asked to submit their subway rat photos, and the gallery is open for viewing and rating.

My favorite? I call this one Hedonism Rat:

Tell me he doesn’t remind you of Hedonism Bot on Futurama…

I must say I was delighted with the folks in my homeland for coming up with this absurdly wonderful campaign.

Check out the rat gallery here.