Category: absurd

Woody the Woodchuck Christmas Sing Song

December 13th, 2009

I apologize for bringing this album into your life. It’s an item best left for collectors of seriously horrendous oddities.

Something about Woody the Woodchuck is a little bit…off. This album was not produced correctly, giving the whole thing a slightly warped, off key tone. The “speaking” parts sound like they were cobbled together by a manic robot, the singing is often incomprehensible, things move a little too slowly, and you pretty much finish the album relieved that it’s over.

If you finish. Which is unlikely.

Anyway…ENJOY!
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Serving in Santa

December 6th, 2009

I never quite understood the human drive to serve things in Santa heads, yet there has always been a decent market for the decapitated icon.

Most of the mugs and punch bowls I’ve seen have an eerie cold, dead look in their eyes. Why?

GAH!

Some even have a sickly “overdose” kind of look…

What SPECIES is this one?

At least this vintage one look happier, if not a bit surprised.

I had collected a bunch of these images on my hard drive, but a few are from this awesome site dedicated entirely to Santa mugs.
Image Odyssey: “Kitsch Nativity”

December 1st, 2009

Well, this is really a two for one special since I also searched “awful nativity.” The season of premium holiday kitsch is upon us, so I figured this is a great way to get in the spirit.

Shall we start with some animal versions? Dogs + religious scenery = instant kitsch.

Then we have the light up variety…

Lite Brite…Lite Brite…turn on the magic of colored lights…

I love this one. Curbside.

I think these were baked a little too long:

This was bound to be made…

For the Creationists out there, I present Dinosaur Surprise Party!

Is that a palm tree?

Here we have some nativity “live actors:”

And the sartorial equivalent of the scene:

I actually kind of like this one because it epitomizes the vintage plastic artifact:

Pre-made commentary!

If anyone has other examples, feel free to submit them for me to add.
Techno Chicken

November 28th, 2009

Since Americans eat an astonishing amount of turkey the last week in November, do you think the chickens are doing celebratory dances like this?

(Ugh…now I’m lamenting the conditions under which chickens are typically raised in this country…no room for dancing at all).

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Vintage Thanksgiving Parade Floats

November 26th, 2009

I could have sworn I posted these last year, but it doesn’t look like it. The one (and only) redeeming quality of parades, in my opinion, is the collection of bizarre, surreal and kitschy props.

Here’s a collection of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats from the 1920’s and 1930’s.

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Wreckalicious

November 25th, 2009

The Thanksgiving cake disasters are out in full force! I love the creative liberty that supermarket bakeries take with anatomical structure. My morning grocery store trip brought me to this fellow right here:

It looks like a tiny turkey head on a dirt hill…or a bird with some serious glandular dysfunction.
“Nice to Meet You” Doorknob

November 24th, 2009

Oh…oh God…I don’t quite know what to say about this, except for the fact that it looks like a cross between science fiction and my nightmares.

Yep, it’s a doorknob in the shape of a shiny silver hand.

When I look at this thing, I feel like the bad Terminator is coming to get me.

Found on Street Anatomy
Coping With Beauty

November 17th, 2009

I can’t believe this book is only 22 years old.

I love how the title equates females routines with great tragedy and struggle, as if you would find this right next to a Coping With Death and Dying in a book store.

Now I know where to go for all of my tips on “no-show smoothness” in undergarments. You can see a scan of the underwear page here.
The Art of the Failed Apocalypse

November 13th, 2009

Doomsday is all the rage these days. Ronnie pointed me to a wonderful rundown of failed doomsday prophecies on National Geographic.

It’s actually quite entertaining to see the various ways in which we have plotted our collective demise.

See more, and read the descriptions here.
Art for God

September 25th, 2009

Okay…this post is going to make me walk a very uncomfortable line. The easy way out is to be snarky. But there is something so undeniably sincere about these images that I’m going to let them speak for themselves.

Art for God has a collection of paintings depicting Jesus in “heroic” circumstances, along with inspirational descriptions.

See the rest here.

I made it! I made it through the post without saying anything! That was exhausting. I need a nap.

Link sent by Doug…check out his fun, non-Jesus art (skeletons abound!).