Category: absurd

Aloca’s Book of Decorations

September 18th, 2013

I came across a post about Aloca’s Book of Decorations (1959, Aluminum Company of America and Artists and Writers Press, Inc.). The star of the show, in this case, is tin foil.

While some may argue these designs are “cute,” I find they fall into that semi-unsettling-for-inarticulate-reasons category that always strikes my fancy.

Foil head coverings are a bit of a stretch.

The camel in the back is pretty cool. He’s just standing there marveling at the freaks next to him.

Not really a majestic mythical beast…but it’s…shiny and crinkly?

Okay Aloca, you got me here. This helmet is badass.

And my Christmas crafts for this coming year…

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.
I Don’t Get Fashion: Drop Crotch, Slim Harem Pants

September 14th, 2013

I’m starting a new feature on this blog entitled “I Don’t Get Fashion.” Due to my health, it has been two years since I’ve seen the outside world or been to a clothing store. But sometimes I glimpse a trend online, or through some sort of media, and emerge from the vision utterly baffled…like I’m looking at prototypes of an alien invention.

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to hate on anyone or anything. These fashion comments are coming from a former(ish) goth. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously, okay?

Anyway, Fashion, I know you must continue blasting out ever-new trends for eager consumers. But sometimes I still don’t get you.

First case in point: Drop Crotch Slim Harem Pants.

If one needs that “billowy upper leg (only)” feeling, or room for an industrial sized diaper, I guess one has come to the right place. Why not cover those pesky calves snuggly and allow plenty of open thigh chafing space?

You may be asking “what is the perfect body type to pull off this style?” And the answer is none. I’ll save us all the magazine article commentary and cut straight to the truth: no body type can “rock” this. Or even climb the ladder into “mildly passable.”

I can’t help but think each pair is a gruesome tailoring mistake for which any customer would instantly demand a refund (and maybe sue for damages).

I am asking, un-ironically, for anyone to speak out in support of this trend. If you love ’em, let me hear the baggy-crotch backlash! Or feel free to ponder their existence out loud.
Pre-Treatment Desktop Goodies!

August 24th, 2013

And now a little installment of DG before I go down the medical rabbit hole for an indeterminate period of time.

Man, Edmund’s been talking for a LONG time.

Start ’em young.

Gorgeous vintage Vogue cover by Salvador Dali.

THINK your way to visible virility!

Very little info on this, but wow…

What puffer cake has seen cannot be unseen.

I love this because the skeleton can either be reaching for OR releasing the heart, depending on the eye of the beholder.

The Barbie Dream Snake:

If a higher power exists, I’m sure it speaks through cats exclusively, actually.

“Who you callin’ chicken?”

I wish this were an actual vintage piece.

Tip from the SheWalksSoftly school of psychology: If someone hurts your feelings, sending a greeting card with one of the worst puns on earth is not likely to remedy the relationship.

Now, let’s everybody hope that the doctors have an ALL CHOCOLATE treatment planned for me next week.
Nekozushi!

July 24th, 2013

Proxy/Guest Blogger Liesje Kraai here! Dana has granted me the opportunity to bring you some weirdness while she is on medical hiatus. Hope you enjoy!

While stumbling along through the interwebs, I’ve come across some of the strangest things – things that defy explanation and honestly, at times, don’t want any.

Steming from my combined love of sushi and cats, I present to you NEKOZUSHI!!!

Nekozushi, translated “Cat Sushi”, makes me wish I had a better grasp of kanji. Thankfully, the explanation is translated:

Neko-Sushi is an extremely unusual life-form consisting of a cat on top of a portion of sushi rice.

Although several references have come down to us through history from various researchers and witnesses, their existence is still shrouded in mystery and actual sightings remain rare.

There are several academics who have devoted their lives to the study of these creatures. According to a number of these, Neko-Sushi make use of gaps in space to come to us from an alternate dimension. Beyond these “gaps” lies the world of the Neko-Sushi in which, it is recently understood, lies the true identity of the cats that dwell with us here in the human dimension.

Yep. Makes perfect sense.

And if you’re still confused, there’s a helpful documentary:

But most perplexing of all is the sushi snow globes, hidden in the “Online Shop”.

With no English translation, these bizarre microcosms of herding maguro bombard my brain with endless streams of “Wha-??” That being said, I wish my Japanese language abilities permitted me to purchase one of these amazing little enigmas. Fortunately, my artistic abilities may permit me to one day make my own…
B-Movie Monsters Carrying Dames

July 17th, 2013

Pinterest can be a source of wonderful image collections. Case in point: B-Movie Monsters Carrying Dames.

I actually had to stop collecting images with this theme long ago because it is entirely TOO prevalent. In bygone days of cinema, many a women fainted limply in the arms of a fantastical creature.

See many more here.

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.
Desktop Goodies 7/14

July 14th, 2013

Alpha, much? (Reminds me of Max Power: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w3zdkmw2E4)

This book is just a blank page with a single word: DON’T.

Love this little man’s style…

Child “guidance,” toward the ever important world of trans fats.

Holy exploding cloaca! Who would brand their product this way?

“With victim.”

Yes, yes and yes.

Totally agreed.

Is it me, or do you feel a draft?

This story has all of my favorite things!

Answer to the age-old problem.

Put a bird in it.

Excellent grammar lesson.

Hope you are all feeling beautiful today.

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.
Phrenology Diagrams: Vaught’s Practical Character Reader (1902)

July 9th, 2013

I made a Phrenology Megapost with all kinds of goodies a few years ago, but I’m back to bring you Vaught’s Practical Character Reader.

Preface:
The purpose of this book is to acquaint all with the elements of human nature and enable them to read these elements in all men, women and children in all countries. At least fifty thousand careful examinations have been made to prove the truthfulness of the nature and location of these elements. More than a million observations have been made to confirm the examinations. Therefore, it is given the world to be depended upon. Taken in its entirety it is absolutely reliable. Its facts can be completely demonstrated by all who will take the unprejudiced pains to do so. It is ready for use. It is practical. Use it.

Hm, I have thus far failed to “indelibly fix this shape” into my memories. Take note ladies, when looking for a husband, never consider a suitor whose head does not have this odd, malformed profile.

Far too many great images to choose from…

See more here.
Watch Out! Here comes the Boogieman!

June 25th, 2013

Hi everyone. It’s good to pop in and make a post for Dana, but I would much rather see her able to continue without interruption. It is two months since my last assist. Lets hope you don’t have me here long before Dana takes the wheel again.

Posted by proxy from Dana’s “stuff to blog” queue while she is on medical hiatus. She reads and appreciates all comments…and apologizes for not being able to respond at the moment.

Gosh, did I get a swell batch to post on my return! These wonderful “Boogeyman” images from the 1920’s are actually stereoview cards.

From the auction listing, with edits:

1920s BOOGIE MAN child & goblins bedtime DROP CARD series of 15 stereoviews lot. This particular series…would be very unique as halloween costumes & monster movies were just coming to life (at this time). This is pretty bizarre & scary series.

On back of one of the views it is written J-13 “The Goblins will get you if you don’t watch out.” The views also have ink stamps on back from 1923 from a Dept of Public Safety approved for Sunday. Since they came out of an early coin op machine there are machine… wear marks etc. They are almost 7″ x 3 1/2″ in size

These did not sell for the asking $495.00. The source listing won’t be online for long, but you can see more here.
Desktop Goodies 6/4

June 4th, 2013

Brains: it’s what’s for dinner.

And speaking of, who thought a grinning peanut grinding his own brain out onto a platter was…a great idea for a product? I envision a young Hannibal Lecter having a lovely time with this. Don’t get me wrong. I’d like one.

For the one time every few years that I need to physically remove a staple:

What actually happens when you have a toothache. Next time you are bothered, understand that it is just the worms, demons and ghosts acting up beneath your enamel.

Mid-century America presents NARCISSISM: THE DRESS.

I don’t. But I’ve heard the stories.

Ohhhhhh…so that’s how you get a man. You glue him down! I’ve been doing it wrong.

A real book; I kid you not:

When a man is asked what is perfectly irresistible I highly doubt “wool mantilla” is the first item that comes to mind (click picture to enlarge).

The quote that made my week (thanks, Casey):

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.
Desktop Goodies

May 18th, 2013

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

God, is that you?

No wait, is that you, God?

Not like this.

I’m not sure if this gaping chasm counts as a “neckline.”

The single best, or maybe worst, job in the world.

Now, this is some food I could eat. Does anyone have a copy of this?

Keep in mind they use the word “enjoy” in the broadest possible sense.

This fellow is very open minded…

And let that be a reminder to stay open-minded about the amorous preferences of others.