Extremely Bizarre Vintage Holiday Cards

Can anyone possibly explain this to me?
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At least this somewhat qualifies as “merry.”
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THIS…on the other hand…
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Not sure I really want to hear what anthropomorphic cats sounds like when they’re belting out Christmas carols.
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Totally jolly.
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Um…WHAT?
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Nothing says joy like a dead bird against a stark background. One can feel the Christmas spirit emanating from his withered, dead feet.
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This dog got the official Red Rider BB Gun he wished for.
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Ah, the yuletide avian Frankenstein mob.
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These ornaments have anger issues.
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5 Responses to “Extremely Bizarre Vintage Holiday Cards”

  1. I’ll take a crack at it.

    The first one is self-explanatory. You’d cringe, too, if you had a turn of the century bicycle ramming into your nads.

    The second one is proof that there was LSD in the 1800s.

    The third one is a man who’s run out of wine. I feel his pain.

    The fourth one can be summed up in a Cary Vaughn post: http://reluctantcatowner.com/2015/12/14/i-have-sampled-hell/

    The fifth one is how you get rid of bad eggnog.

    The sixth one is one of Rush Limbaugh’s nightmares from the 90s.

    The seventh one is a message to the portly: You need to scale down from roast duck to barbecued robin.

    The eighth one is the NRA’s new plan, arming household pets. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this idea.

    The ninth one is what happens when the other robins find out about fatso’s diet and learn his address.

    The tenth one is a clip from M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie: The Twelve Horrors of Christmas. He’s signed on Michael Cera and Emily Blunt.

  2. Heehee…. Yeah! No kidding! Those are some seriously angry ornaments!

  3. The lonely restaurant guy one is faintly Lovecraftian. I wonder what happens next?

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