Unfortunately, I didn’t save the original source, but I love these vintage style holiday greetings…with a bit of acerbic wit.
Tag: christmas
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I’m on roughly my tenth year of saying “I’m going to make a great gingerbread house for the holidays”…and utterly failing to do so. My theoretical designs are usually range from slightly unconventional to mildly deranged. But these gingerbread creations featured recently on Gizmodo put my ideas to shame.
We’ll start with an LED light-up gingerbread man, who has a wonderfully monstrous quality:
Ginger PC! I enjoy seeing the PC honored in crafts (I am not a Mac gal…despite many conversion attempts of others):
I love the detailing on this one:
And…from Portal, my very favorite game to adore but never actually play…the Weighted Companion Cube! *JOY*
(Thanks to Artie for making sure I checked Gizmodo that day)
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Although most of these have been circulated online quite a bit by now, I’d like to give credit to the best geeky Christmas trees I’ve seen this year.
Recycled Gadget Tree
Apparently this one was created by a librarian using old computer parts the library was going to discard.Recycled Gadget Tree #2
I love to speculate about the technological wonderland that would have so many spare/disposable parts for Christmas tree use.Dalek Tree
I *love* the use of the laundry basket and other household objects! The color scheme is also pretty spectacular.Knit Christmas Tree
Massive knitting endeavors like this never cease to amaze me.Book Shelf Tree
A bit minimalist for my taste, but it gets points for design and use of one of my very favorite things.Charlie Brown Tree
Not exactly geeky, but oh-so endearing. This tree needs me.(Apologies for lack of sources)
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I can’t believe I almost didn’t include the legendary EVIL SANTA that’s been a part of my Christmases since I was a toddler (yes, I grew up with this thing…probably explains a lot).
Under a bit of stuffing there is prominent wiring, so Santa can be posed in a variety of terrifying ways. The most evil thing about him, which never fails to horrify my guests, is that his eyes seem to follow you around anywhere you move.
My parents used to put gifts in his sack each year. Having to extract this bounty from the arms of Evil Santa for probably accounts for my utter fearlessness as an adult.
The following “Unborn Soldier” ornament is a big ball of wrong.
Is it an anti-abortion statement? Does it mean to imply that your unborn fetus could be the savior of the free world one day? I’m rendered nearly speechless by this tacky display of conservative values (which is most likely the intention of the product).
Find one at Miss Poppy
This post brought to you by another evil Santa…
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Oh heck yes. The biological illustrations of Ernst Haeckel combined with vintage holiday cheer!
Now we know the greetings that marine invertebrates send to each other to celebrate the season.
And a few with a more modern style…
From the awesome flickr set of jholbo.
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I’ll finish off the week with some features from our own Holiday Abomination Party, held in Norristown, PA.
The tree was indeed unique, topped with the household deity of choice: The Flying Spaghetti Monster (handmade by Matt).
When you squeeze the chicken, a watery sack filled with an egg emerges from it’s nethers.
We called this “Pain Killer Penguin” since it glows a pulsating red like the human diagrams in nearly every medication commercial:
Tudurcken ornament ACTION SHOT!
I was blessed by a visit from the Ornament Fairy (a.k.a Steph) as I slept, and awoke to find myself (the none-too-happy face anyway) photoshopped into a Patrick Swayze embrace!
Of course, this is a reference to the famous MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas Song (definitely worth seeing, if you haven’t).We “opened up our hearts and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in”…we wish him good health this season.
Now come along with me on our Turducken cooking journey…beginning here, with this sexy thing:
Looking like this somewhere in the middle…
See the process, start to finish, in these nicely chronicled PHOTOS.The undisputed “star” of the party was internet sensation Chris Dane Owens. This video most certainly counts as a holiday abomination (actually, it’s an abomination for all seasons).
Printer was running out of ink, which adds to the lowbrow quality…
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I’ll start with the *Rooftop Cake* from my local grocery circular, made by their “Master Bakers:”
Now we move along to a less ostentatious creation for the holiday minimalist:
Sticking a plastic head on something does not render it a “body.”
If holiday candles dripped blood…
It’s Christmas, and we know what that means…FROGS! Fresh from the dissecting table.
Gaze into the mesmerizing eyes of Svengali Santa!
Thanks to the wonderful Cake Wrecks for most of these!
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My fellow children of the 80’s will most likely remember the Casio keyboards that were all the rage in the days of our youth.
Well, here is a preview of Kasio Kristmas, two guys (who look like an unnerving cross between Coneheads and Sloth from Goonies) performing classic Christmas songs on rare Casios. You’ll find holiday cheer…and some fairly disturbing dance moves.
Here’s another sample:
(I’m really entertained that Salt N Pepa’s “Shoop” shows up as a related video for this one) -
First, a frank inspirational tale:
It seems that Jesus is jumping on the “blackout eyes” trend, first made popular by nu-metal bands and horror movies.
Sometimes the best thing about the thrift store Jesus is its juxtaposition.
(photo credit: buddy stone)Jesus shoots some hoops with the children:
(photo credit: frinkianz)I’m trying really hard to understand the drastic chromatic choices…
Ah, every thrift store must have a bland, flatly painted Jesus. A lot of heart goes into these less than mediocre works.
Meet Action Jesus, complete with prominent nipples. Is the lavish pirate garb next to him an “outfit suggestion?”
Steph presented this to our friend Lee at the Holiday Abomination Party last week:
And THIS painted Jesus was a lovely gift to me (pardon the wrongly positioned Wiccan Chicken…we meant no offense. It was a multi-denominational event, accepting of all faiths!).
And SHELL ART JESUS, my personal favorite:
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There are literally millions of hideous Santa creations floating around store shelves this time of year. I could not possibly narrow down the new ones (I like to call them Kitsch of the Future), so here are some thrift store finds:
For some reason, people tend to think it’s a good idea to construct decorative unholy chimeras, so I give you the anatomical monstrosity of Violin Santa. It hurts to be him (as indicated by his pained expression).
If you like your Santas brassy, faceless and spread-eagle…someone made an object just for you:
I can’t tell what I find more creepy: Santa’s lean, muscular cyclist physique, or his appearance of having something crammed high into his posterior.
Some people have NO discretion with their fake ice crystals. Santa was clearly just chipped from a block of ice…where he had been trapped lying dead for sometime.
Did someone give you a gourd this past fall, and you’re just now realizing how useless it is? Why not turn it into a subtly patriotic Santa (see American flag on bottom right)?
My thanks to drowningmermaid for providing some of these wonderful treats!
SheWalksSoftly 