I can’t decide whether the Chocolate Phonograph (a rare artifact made by the German chocolate company Stollwerk in 1903) was genius, or a mad bastardization of my favorite things.

This little treasure, with a mere 3 inch turntable, was designed to play chocolate records. The craftsmanship is rather beautiful:

Though touted as a solid device that could rival other quality phonographs

In reality they were extremely delicate little machines with noisy, underpowered motors and mediocre sound quality. They were far too fragile to withstand rough handling by children, who were (not surprisingly) the main market for chocolate records. Most phonographs were likely broken beyond repair in a matter of days. The big advantage was the records themselves. As explained in La Nature, “when a song no longer pleases, oh well! just savor the disc like you would a simple snack, and eat it.”

I think I would have eaten all my music before I even got to play it. I prefer my music inedible, to avoid temptation.

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