With the exception of “Someday, I Want to Be Exactly Like You,” an ironically titled college term paper covering the impact of toy marketing on social psychology, I haven’t consciously set eyes on a Barbie doll in over 20 years.

But all of that has changed, thanks to the fine folks at Entertainment Earth and their new Alfred Hitchcock inspired Barbie.

Product description: Together at last! In a pairing nobody saw coming, Mattel married two classics together to make the Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll. As you can see, the doll is being assaulted by a trio of angry avian attackers, making this one of very few products to be both awesome and classy. The site also touts the product as featuring “real fake birds.”

I love how just as she’s about to be pecked to a bloody pulp, the doll looks distinctly dead behind the eyes…yet somehow maintains her perfect pageant wave.

I haven’t seen my dear friend Stephanie for far too long, and I was ecstatic to receive a package from her today. I’ve spent AGES looking for these elusive little buggers since hearing rumors of their existence.

STICKY ORGANS!

I’m now the proud owner of a sticky brain and stomach, and they are everything I ever dreamed they could be. I could find almost no manufacturer information, which is a shame…I’d like to order them in bulk.