Did you know there’s a subgenre of Christian puppetry records? Believe it.
The puppet prerequisites? Awkward, malformed or otherwise terrifying.
We also find the occasional doll on these covers. Here, the doll is clearly fed up with this child’s incessant praying.
Almost forgot one! There is indeed a puppet here, but the menacing mascots caused me to overlook him entirely.
Considering the fact that maternal instinct is wired into the brain, I’m very entertained by this cringe-worthy design that turns your baby into a tiny human mop.
Standard greetings cards can be so trite. I love when card makers mix it up a bit, like Order of St. Nick. They have a fantastic series of Depressing Times Valentine Cards, which are ironically appropriate in our suffering economy.
And you can never go wrong with nihilist love notes, as evidenced by their Nietzsche Valentine Set.
(caption reads “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.”)
I recommend Order of St. Nick for your unconventional greeting card needs.
Time for one of my periodic cake posts. I never tire of these culinary triumphs and tragedies.
Here is a cake that delights the nerd in me. MICROBES!
That was the good. Now for the bad…
And as promised by the title of this post…the OPRAH.
From the ever delightful Cake Wrecks.
This pretty much sums up the past decade of my life. I might have to make one of these.
Adorn your desk with one of these, lest you forget that life is nothing but an uphill battle and a pointless exercise in futility. Or imagine that the little guy really CAN push that big rock with ease.
Via Modern Mechanix.
I was in line at the drug store, and came across this little fellow in the checkout lane. Advertised as a lovable, hugable creature, this poor koala contains so little stuffing that he appears to be suffering from a terrible eating disorder. Here he is, lying down:
He just caves in on himself when he tries to sit up.
And now for the worst part…the spine:
Let’s hope koalas like this one don’t infiltrate the media, or koalas in the wild may start depriving themselves of Eucalyptus leaves in hopes of attaining an impossible ideal. My maternal instinct got the better of me, and I spent the dollar to bring him home.
Yes, I know. Christmas is long gone. But we don’t always play by the rules here on SheWalksSoftly. This post got lost in the holiday shuffle and is simply too entertaining to toss out.
Mercy Xmas, indeed! Is this unfortunate reindeer clutching his gut in abject agony, or is he holding a pile of something extremely unsavory?
This next one would go great in the wiry arms of my infamous Evil Santa:
If this one looks a tad “off,” it’s because the center of Santa’s face is stuck on upside down (though arguably this fellow has even bigger problems):
Maybe he’s born with it…maybe it’s Maybelline…
I can’t tell whether Santa fell off the roof, or is trapped in a glass case in some kind of horror flick scenario:
This one, on the other hand, is clearly a homicide:
I wish I could think of something clever to say about this lumpy, swirly abomination, but I suppose it speaks for itself:
From the fantastic Cake Wrecks, of course.
Unfortunately, I didn’t save the original source, but I love these vintage style holiday greetings…with a bit of acerbic wit.
I’ll finish off the week with some features from our own Holiday Abomination Party, held in Norristown, PA.
The tree was indeed unique, topped with the household deity of choice: The Flying Spaghetti Monster (handmade by Matt).
When you squeeze the chicken, a watery sack filled with an egg emerges from it’s nethers.
We called this “Pain Killer Penguin” since it glows a pulsating red like the human diagrams in nearly every medication commercial:
Tudurcken ornament ACTION SHOT!
I was blessed by a visit from the Ornament Fairy (a.k.a Steph) as I slept, and awoke to find myself (the none-too-happy face anyway) photoshopped into a Patrick Swayze embrace!
Of course, this is a reference to the famous MST3K Patrick Swayze Christmas Song (definitely worth seeing, if you haven’t).
We “opened up our hearts and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in”…we wish him good health this season.
Now come along with me on our Turducken cooking journey…beginning here, with this sexy thing:
Looking like this somewhere in the middle…
See the process, start to finish, in these nicely chronicled PHOTOS.
The undisputed “star” of the party was internet sensation Chris Dane Owens. This video most certainly counts as a holiday abomination (actually, it’s an abomination for all seasons).
Printer was running out of ink, which adds to the lowbrow quality…
SheWalksSoftly 