One year ago, I was pretty certain my health couldn’t get worse. I was bed bound, unable to communicate via speech or typing, barely able to eat and unable to perform the simplest of tasks due to pain. That had to be the low point, right?
Well, on March 4th I woke up with stomach cramps. By the evening I was doubled over, choking back screams in the ER, until my CT scan revealed an intestinal perforation, requiring open surgery. They tried to delicately explain that the operation I was about to have is one of the worst procedures out there to recover from (even for someone without a CNS disorder that amplifies pain 100 fold). When they went in, they discovered such massive infection that I was mere hours away from going septic and losing my life. It still gets me misty eyed thinking of my father…and my dearest loved ones…getting that news.
I’ll skip details of the grueling recovery, because the point of this post is gratitude!
I didn’t die.
Nor did I die when they had to go in and do another emergency open surgery for scar tissue obstruction months later! Sheesh.
Nope, didn’t die then either.
After the second operation (which was actually my third major abdominal procedure), when I was painstakingly starting to get up and take my first few steps, I enlisted the help of my best friend and together we made a mini mix of inspiring 80’s “training montage” songs. A few selections:
So when I got up, I’d put my phone in my IV pole tray and have these songs playing as I ventured out into hospital hallways.
…a little much needed comic relief for everyone! It made the pain a tad more bearable to see the laughs, smiles and thumbs up from the staff and fellow patients as I slowly went by.
The past year has been the most astoundingly challenging, and most profoundly revelatory of my life. While pain still prohibits me from joining the land of the living quite yet, in many ways I am starting to heal from an “incurable” illness against all odds. You better believe I will continue that process until I am fully functional. Every little thing feels like a miracle despite the intense pain remaining. Eating, breathing, READING…you name it!
Some of you have been with this blog for the whole trajectory thus far, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here’s hoping that one year from now I will still be sharing arts and oddities, with the newfound freedom of one who has regained life and limbs! I must believe that each and every day, my strange miracle of recovery takes hold a little more.