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Vintage Valentine Roundup: Masochistic, Murderous and Meaty

Posted in absurd, candy coated nightmares, ephemera, humor, kitsch, macabre, meat, thrift horror, valentine's day, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2011 by shewalkssoftly

I’ve collected hundreds of vintage Valentine images, but I’m not currently in possession of the hard drive that houses them all. Here are a few that I recently saved to my desktop. Cutesy Valentines abound, so here are some that showcase the darker leanings of the holiday.

Welcome to the gun show…

Double pun action!

Let this be a lesson not to mix your puns:

Refusal is not advised…

Fiery sentiments…

Of Feline Bondage…

I don’t trust him…

Is she implying that she’s a piece of crap?

Submissive Cow looks like the sad, daytime talk show guest of the animal kingdom.

In other words…”eat me.”

If someone could kindly explain this creature to me…

And the award for most depressing Valentine ever goes to…SUICIDAL SKUNK! He has not one, but TWO ways to off himself, ready and waiting. You can tell by the look on his face that he’s not going to snap out of this so easily. It’s hardcore.

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Pavlov’s Steak

Posted in absurd, antiques, meat, science with tags , , , on October 17, 2010 by shewalkssoftly

I greatly admire the work of Ivan Pavlov. Turns out the Yale University archives have a piece of meat signed by Pavlov himself.

Pavlov was visiting pioneer brain surgeon Harvey Cushing when a piece of new surgical equipment caught his eye.

Pavlov was captivated by the new electrosurgical knife Cushing used in the operation, and at the end of the procedure, Cushing got a piece of beef so that the elder scientist could try his hand. After making a few incisions, Pavlov inscribed his name into the meat. “I asked him whether he wanted me to eat the meat in the hope of improving my conditional reflexes,” Cushing wrote in his journal, “or whether we could keep it in the museum, the latter we will proceed to do—’Pavlov’s beef-steak.’” A collector of old medical books and of brain tumors, when he died in 1939 Cushing bequeathed both to Yale, where his rare books would become the cornerstone for creating the Medical Historical Library.

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Desktop Goodies

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, comics, creatures, meat, oddities, postcards, thrift horror, video, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2010 by shewalkssoftly

The image above…perhaps designed to be mildly unsettling…is nowhere NEAR as unsettling as this (originally un-ironic) piece of Thrift Horror:

Quite possibly my favorite comic panel of the month:

Now onto a little anatomy…

Nice legs…

If I had the proverbial “thinking cap,” I might want it to look a bit like this:

And speaking of thinking…perhaps “brain bats” are a great descriptive metaphor for certain mental states.

In my humble opinion, “vacation hair” may be among the least of his problems.

Fish heads, fish heads…

That photo reminds me of this extremely surreal video:

And now to cater to my love of flying squirrels (can anyone really be unmoved by this degree of sweet awesomeness?)…

This post brought to you by meat.

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Meat Heart

Posted in absurd, meat, valentine's day with tags , , on February 13, 2010 by shewalkssoftly

Has anyone actually seen these meaty expressions of love in supermarkets this week? Not a bad thing to cook up for your favorite carnivore as a Valentine.

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Quality Meats

Posted in macabre, meat, surreal, video with tags , , , on August 15, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

Whenever my friend Damon shares a link, I know it’s going to be well worth checking out. I thank him for this twisted clip of straight-jacketed meat, ambling through the grocery store late at night…

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David Sykes

Posted in meat, photography with tags , on July 26, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

I first saw the work of David Sykes start to pop up on various blogs that feature anatomical/macabre art, due to his recent skull pops:

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Upon checking his portfolio, I found it was a treasure trove of finely captured kitsch.

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Innovative presentation…

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Not to mention food textures, up close and personal.

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However, my favorites are his slightly skewed domestic scenes, complete with subtle anatomical model decoration. And meat. Meat in unlikely places.

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This table pulls off a subtle grotesqueness that fascinates me:
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See more here.

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Vintage Meat Candy Store

Posted in food, meat, vintage with tags , , on July 7, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

Nowadays, meat novelties are around every corner. T-shirts, car air fresheners…you name it. Here is a store that was nearly 90 years ahead of the pop culture “meat boom.”

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Everything in the store, except the actual fixtures, is made of candy. So well are all the meats imitated that the hams smell of that salty tang that is so familiar to all of us. The summer sausage looks like summer sausage, but it isn’t—it’s candy. Not only does all the candy represent some form of meat but it is made to please the palate. At first, Chicago people doubted the reality of these confections, but time and taste have taught them that this store sells “quality goods.”

As a person who has literally given candy meat as a gift to my dearest friends, I would love to see a tiny place like this open up in NYC or Brooklyn.

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Wim Delvoye

Posted in home, installations, meat with tags , , on May 9, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

Wim Delvoye’s “Marble Floor” series is not actually edible despite its meaty appearance.

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I’d almost be afraid to walk on it, as if my shoes would slip on grease and tear into the delicate slices that make up the design.

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I commend him on the intricate, painstaking work that went into tiling these pieces.

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Suddenly I find myself craving all sorts of salted, cured meats.

Artist site

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The New Pioneer Woman in Meat

Posted in ephemera, meat, vintage with tags , , on April 19, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

As much as I dislike posting images that crop up on numerous other blogs, I happen to enjoy this one very much.

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That is all.

(Apologies for the lack of specific source…I’ve seen it all over)

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The Making of Closer

Posted in film, meat, music, music video with tags , , , on April 15, 2009 by shewalkssoftly

It was 1994. I stayed up past my bedtime, delicately dozing off in front of the TV in hopes of catching the Closer Video. Nine Inch Nails entranced me in a visual universe that became a catalyst for many of my developing interests.

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I had a sixth sense for this video. The barely audible sound of that hissing heartbeat could jar me out of the deepest sleep. I had to watch.

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My heart goes out to my mother. She got wind of the lyrics and felt her tiny tween was headed for a life of violence, promiscuity and general depravity…none of which I ever even dabbled in. My sober, stable mind was such a wonderland in itself; imagination was all I needed. For all I cared, the lyrics could have been about lollipops and jellybeans.

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I came across this great behind the scenes documentary about the video, which may not be for everyone but is a must see for those who love the aesthetics of the Closer video. You’ll see what went into creating images like this:

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…and hear director Mark Romanek discuss everything from Mary Poppins to rotting meat.

THE MAKING OF CLOSER

I just realized that half the tags I use in this blog can apply to this post. Ever feel like something was made for you…even before YOU were aware of it?

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