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Desktop Goodies

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, Books, clothing, dolls, fashion, illustration, kitsch, meat, monsters, sci-fi, space, surreal, thrift horror, undead, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

God, is that you?
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No wait, is that you, God?
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Not like this.
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I’m not sure if this gaping chasm counts as a “neckline.”
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The single best, or maybe worst, job in the world.
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Now, this is some food I could eat. Does anyone have a copy of this?
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Keep in mind they use the word “enjoy” in the broadest possible sense.
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This fellow is very open minded…
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And let that be a reminder to stay open-minded about the amorous preferences of others.
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4 Comments »

1/5

Posted in advertising, anatomy, art, Books, craft, meat, quotes with tags , , , , , , on January 5, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Medical hiatus no-typing mix…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond at the moment.
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3 Comments »

A Child’s First Butcher Shop

Posted in antiques, dolls, meat with tags , , on August 5, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

This great article features an 1840′s miniature butcher shop, complete with a series of strung-up meats.

A few different theories surround this incredible creation. Some believe it was intended for presumably less squeamish children of the Victorian era, while others call attention to the popular trend of miniatures for adults at the time. Either way, it’s an intriguing artifact.

This 1900 model, on the other hand, was made by esteemed German toymaker Christian Hacker (definitely intended for children):

See more (including doll houses and a pet shop) at Collector’s Weekly.

13 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 6/4

Posted in absurd, art, Books, death, decoration, fashion, food, halloween, home, humor, introvert, meat, photography, pinup, puppets, retro, taxidermy, toys, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Does anyone know the artist responsible for this (I bet one of you will!)? I swoon every time I look at this piece.

The lesser known alternative to “shooting lasers from one’s eyes” is shooting pinup models.

My fellow introverts, here is a fabulous KEEP AWAY sign!

Who wants a start a club with this name with me?

From Cake Wrecks comes this awesome reproduction:

Hey, want some fashion? Here goes…

Hairdo hall of fame!

Excellent costume idea:

And while was not intended as a Halloween costume, I think it would work wonderfully as one.

Great alternative to to poodle skirt:

Just make sure you’re not dressed for trouble.

Lovely Crazy Cat Lady:

This has been circulating a lot, but I just have to make sure you’ve all seen it.

Two loves had he…

“Lite Brite, Lite Brite…turn on the magic of colored lights!”

[Imitates Todd Flanders] “Is your source on this reliable?”

This kid is going places in life…

Old Sunday School postcards are always cheese-tastically awesome.

The word of the week: HAMAGINATION.

I love hints of barely detectable darkness amidst standard prim and proper design.

Well done, taxidermist. Well done. Does anyone remember the Ren and Stimpy “Log” commercial that featured “Ultra Log” (which just had a hideous dead squirrel nailed to the top)?

Coincidentally, I also came across what might have been the goal of the project above:

Can this be me, please?

Okay…time to get some reading done…

8 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 5/25

Posted in absurd, Books, comics, craft, humor, meat, monsters, retro, sculpture, toys, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

I’d love a copy of this.

This was the ONLY way to play with Weebles back in the day!

“Hey…would you cut me a slice of that potato salad?” I’m not sure why the mid-20th Century as a whole felt that all food was better served molded and congealed.

Maybe Snuggles can cook up something better.

Now THIS is a great piece of food!

My kinda cookbook…

Clearly the world’s most amazing self-help book:

And a book I want very badly!

A book that the occasional SheWalksSoftly reader might have actually had:

Why it pays to be nice…

“Hang on…I have to put my face on.”

An accessory for the man about town:

And quite the dress design…

I’m intrigued…

I never expected a Mighty Dark-Winged Avenging Lord of Chaos to be named “Bryan.”

Pleasant dreams, kiddies…

It seems I had a bunch of images lined up to post, so expect another Desktop Goodies installment soon…

15 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 3/20

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, decay, fashion, humor, meat, nature, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Let’s start with an amazing real life Batmobile pig shaped food truck! I’ve never seen anything like this. Completely awesome.

And speaking of bats, this was actually a political cartoon of yesteryear:

When was the last time you saw a bat in striped boxer shorts?

Does anyone know the artist for this painting? I love the color scheme and lighting.

Excellent parenting:

“Gee, it’d be mighty swell if you’d be my date for the apocalypse!”

I feel like I’m looking into my future:

Don’t be fooled by brilliant marketing, ladies…I’ve worn apple scented perfume for 15 years and have yet to be bitten.

Who are YOU going to believe?

Where I sneak away at night…

Next time you’re on a boat, remember that this is exactly what’s going on underneath you.

LOVE these gentle specters:

A photo that takes my breath away:

This is an actual Victorian dress, as far as I know. I’d love to meet the woman who wore this color during that era.

And while we’re on the topic of vintage attire, this is what women used to wear before we only had the option of prepackaged “slutty hornet.”

(2012 versions often cover less than a swimsuit and have titles like “Queen Bee-otch”…I’m not kidding)

The “magpie” costume actually looks very much like my prom dress in 1997.

This costume beats them all though (insert choice pun about “hamming it up”).

The end.

17 Comments »

Superbowl Food: Stadiums

Posted in food, humor, meat with tags , , on February 5, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Hey Americans, did you know that today is apparently the day when some guys run until they all fall down, in hopes of moving this oddly shaped ball around?

That’s the extent of my football knowledge.

HOWEVER, one Superbowl tradition I completely get behind is the creation of completely obscene food items.

A new favorite is this collection of edible stadiums.

And this is what you’ll need to deal with Superbowl food:

Next year I’m going to a Superbowl party JUST to make a crazy food creation.

2 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 1/23

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, comics, creatures, dolls, fashion, humor, introvert, meat, robots, science, sculpture, vintage, you can't handle the cute with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

This has come up in about 5 of the blogs I typically follow…so Cyborg Gorbachev is really asking to be posted.

If I were a few inches tall, this would be my preferred mode of transportation.

Amazing doll concept by Ali Gulec:

These life-like Beavis and Butt-Head statues having been making the Internet rounds as well. Wonderful job crafting a photorealistic and rather horrifying vision of these two, Kevin Kirkpatrick. See a few more shots here.

Why I love being an introvert:

On a related note, I think this would make great club wear for introverts. It really sends the right message if one is not in the mood for human interaction: Come one step closer and I will BITE you!

Finally, the trendy luxury toward which I harbor an extreme distaste finds a home in serial killer apparel. THIS, I like.

I’m with you, Neil!

Fatal Attraction had NOTHING on this:

Bear with me for a moment of extreme adorableness…

And speaking of cats, take a look at what I always pretty much assumed would be my own future (everybody knows it’s not official until facebook says so…this is the real deal):

Ohhhh-kay, so I’ll admit that I only envision myself in a relationship with one or two cats. I’m about quality, not quantity.

Now we come to the portion of this blog post where I try to avoid making a pun about something being “fishy” here…

Usually at least one of my Desktop Goodies will launch me into utter confusion. Today’s baffling example (caption, anyone?):

…and by “Projection Equipment” they mean her brassiere:

Ladies, I’ll leave you with this romantic gift idea: raw meat.

7 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 12/13

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, comics, food, humor, inspiration, meat, medicine, oddities, photography, TV, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2011 by shewalkssoftly

Soon I will post some holiday goodies, but let’s see what non-celebratory things we have lurking on the desktop today…

To whet your appetite, we’ll begin with this stunning scene (about which I will refrain from commenting):

And for dessert: VITAMIN DONUTS. I believe this was once an actual product.

You can wash those donuts down with a glass of Pilk. It’s deloinkful. (This comes from the parody program “Look Around You”…which is wonderful)

And while we’re on the topic of programs (I wonder if I’ll have to deal with this in my practice someday)…

Does anyone know where this comes from? I can’t place it.

Ooh…getting ideas for future projects from this 17th century secret poison case…

Perhaps I should procure some Pink Pills for Pale People.

Kind of wish I were made of cogs, gears and wires…

Someone’s documented my party habits (except I probably wouldn’t even be drunk):

This post brought to you by Mr. Mandrake Root (wish I could remember where I got this from):

15 Comments »

Desktop Goodies

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, food, humor, meat, photography, thrift horror, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2011 by shewalkssoftly

Holy Meatscape! Be still, my cholesterol-laden heart!

Ground control to Major Squirrel…

This is how to get me to follow you anywhere…trail of candy jars.

Ah, art imitating life. These two are positively inseparable in the wild.

Mmmmm…I bet she never slept better.

Take note, gentlemen…getting her in a headlock with a seemingly imminent neck snap MAY spoil the mood. Ladies, take note…limp and lifeless is the proper amorous stance:

I’m not sure if this ad is cute, romantic, obscene, awkward…or all/none of the above.

Now THIS is a hot dog display! Look out, Xmas dinner table of mine…wiener tree is happening!

Which one of these cake wrecks would be the best complement to the wiener tree? Deadpan shock?

…or horrified zombie Santa from Hell?

Speaking of cakes, look at THIS (care of My Ghoul Friday):

I’m sorry, but this is seriously NOT how to become one with Jesus.

I’m used to the term “deluxe” meaning that my sandwich will come with fries on the side…not a severed human head with glass eyes.

Never underestimate what nature does when you’re not looking. I leave you with a philosophical question: if a tree eats a fence in the forest and no one is around to see it…does the fence still get digested in a fibrous mass of sappy, fibrous tree guts?

10 Comments »

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