Archive for humor

Tacky Taxidermy Week, Day 3: Smile!

Posted in absurd, creatures, humor, taxidermy with tags , , , on June 4, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

You know how sometimes you’ll see an animal at a certain angle, at a certain moment, and it appears to be smiling? This is not that.

These are gruesome, gratuitous, godawful grins…facial contortions that do not exist in the actual animal kingdom.

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Are you ready?
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A couple of them are kinda sweet.
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…or manic.
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…or stoned.
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…or the stuff nightmares are made of.
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…or inquisitive.
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…or surprised.
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…or something dug out of an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus.
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…or just happy to see ya.
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…or…or…this.
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…or have one more than the most fashionable number of mammalian eyes.
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…or look like an ad for wolf dentures.
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Tacky Taxidermy Week, Day 2: “Zoologically Improbable”

Posted in absurd, creatures, humor, taxidermy with tags , , , on June 3, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Now let’s have a look at some creatures who appear to be experiencing emotions or postures that do not, in reality, exist in the animal kingdom as we know it.

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The whole lower half of this one is more disturbing than its nonplussed face.
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Is he Jazzercizing?
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Squirrel in sensual repose:
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“Oh God. I must have slept wrong.”
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Waiting by the principal’s office…
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Tacky Taxidermy 101: when in doubt, HYPEREXTEND LIMBS!
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One of the best signs I’ve ever seen:
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Tacky Taxidermy Week, Day 1: SASSY AND FIERCE!

Posted in absurd, creatures, humor, taxidermy with tags , , , on June 2, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Tacky Taxidermy won the theme week contest! So here we go!

Sometimes there is just a *little* something off about the taxidermy creatures we encounter…
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But others are downright SASSY AND FIERCE!
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I welcome captions for any of these!

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SWS does NOT endorse the mistreatment/killing of animals for art! I make an effort to post only ethical taxidermy in which the animals were already deceased. If you somehow discover that one of these creations actively harmed the creature involved, please let me know so I can remove the image immediately.

1972 Mattel Saucy Doll

Posted in absurd, dolls, humor, vintage with tags , , , on May 18, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

In 1972, Matell release a the “Saucy Doll;” a little lady who makes strange faces when you lift her left arm (which, arguably, anyone would).

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Judging from this video, it takes quite the effort to get these funny faces to happen (that’s a lot of arm lifting), and most faces can accurately be subsumed under the header of “drunk and disorderly.”

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Easter Cake Wrecks

Posted in absurd, easter, food, humor with tags , , , on April 20, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

This holiday, along with Christmas, lends itself to some spectacular cake disasters.

Speaking of…at first I thought this was a colorblind attempt at a Christmas tree. Nope. It’s an egg. “Oval” is such a hard shape to make though.
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While as yet an uncommon treatment for psychiatric disturbances in domesticated fowl, here we see electroconvulsive therapy being administered to a newborn chick. This procedure requires extensive clinical supervision. Talk to your healthcare provider.
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Hey now, this is a family blog, miss! Can I interest you in a t-shirt or modest shawl?
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I thought this animal’s eyes were firmly implanted in the middle of its own ears, until I noticed the green arcs on the side which are…the actual ears?
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This is a difficult cake to behold, existentially. The poor creature’s life is clearly flashing before its stunned eyes, a split second before an untimely demise.
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If you’re going to get emotional on holidays, try waterproof eye makeup.
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I got nothin’.
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“Young lady, I TOLD you if you kept feeding glow sticks to the rabbit, something bad would happen!”
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With the advent of modern meat production, some slight anatomical anomalies began to emerge.
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And now my favorite: crucified carrots against a backdrop of a toddler’s finger painting. Now THAT, my friends…is how Easter is done.
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Desktop Goodies 4/17

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, food, humor, kitsch, oddities, photography, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Welcome to this edition of desktop goodies!
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Would you buy Kellog’s corn flakes after seeing a child in the ad who looks like he’s be propped and posed postmortem?
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Antique “eye massager,” for when your eyes need a little therapeutic squishin’!
Eye Massager.

AXOLOTL in a portrait! (See some axolotl info here, and an artistic interpretation here)
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Don’t mind him…he’s really into that “sitting in a wall” thing.
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The most complete system ever? Really?
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I’m going to give you a great life tip here, folks. So listen up: be sure to set the iron to medium heat so as not to burn your crocodile.
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The world’s most wistful butter substitute:
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You can conveniently sell your sister by placing a check mark in the appropriate box.
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Don’t say it, Dana…don’t say this piece of kitsch is…”corny.” D’OH!
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Antique Acquaintance Cards

Posted in antiques, ephemera, humor with tags , , on April 5, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Why did calling cards ever go out of fashion? Sure, we have hundreds of ways to bombard each other with introductions online (or in person…do people still meet that way?), but calling cards had style.

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From The Art of Manliness (wow, what a great blog name!):
In the 19th century, gentlemen used calling cards to formally introduce themselves to new acquaintances and to call upon friends and relatives in a dignified way. But there was another type of card used when a gentleman wanted to get the ball rolling with a lovely lady in a more casual way: the acquaintance card.

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The cards were designed as a comical way for a gentleman to break the ice, start a conversation, and flirt with the opposite sex. Sometimes the humor was overt, and sometimes it derived from the way the messages parodied the formal rules of etiquette — it wasn’t actually considered appropriate to ask for your calling card back or volunteer your escorting services so directly, as some of these cards do.

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Now THIS man is willing to risk his gun, his dog and his shoes to be acquainted with a lady.
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Source
Also, check out this Acquaintance Card Flikr Set!

Heal Yourself Skeletor

Posted in animation, humor, retro, TV with tags , , , on March 21, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Heal Yourself Skeletor is an amazing tumblr. I cannot tell you how much joy I get from looking at this particular character paired with joyous, loving affirmations.

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Skeletor makes a dynamite bodhisattva (and the screenshots are perfect, aren’t they?).

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My favorite:
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See the archive here.

Swamp Pulp

Posted in absurd, Books, film, humor, retro, vintage with tags , , , , , on March 7, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Through dear old Pinterest, I discovered a most unexpected literary (and film!) subgenre: SWAMP PULP.

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Swamps strike me as one of the LEAST sexy ecosystems to cozy up with someone…but what do I know? Swamps are clearly infested with rampant sexuality.
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Apparently there was such a market for this that multiple authors and film makers chose the same swampy titles.

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Oh, we’re still going…

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Yes, there are more…

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Why stop now?

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Are you enjoying yourself? Are you thinking about swamps?

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Not yet? Okay, have some more…

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And this was just the small sample I found. I’m intrigued (not intrigued enough to read about swamp nymphs…but quite astounded that they have been such a prominent feature in dime store novels).

Sharkleberry Fin

Posted in humor, retro with tags , on March 5, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

It takes so little to entertain me. Case in point, I really LOVE that a flavor called “Sharkleberry Fin” exists (or did, anyway). A major drink manufacturer crafted a ludicrous literary pun that invokes strange musings of a mythical sea beast flavored berry. Nice.

I missed this one in the 80’s, as I wasn’t big on Kool Aid. What does a SHARKLEBERRY taste like? Can anyone enlighten me? Don’t say orange-strawberry-banana (the technical flavor aim of the product)…I encourage made up adjectives to describe it.

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Apparently, other flavors in the Kool Aid wildlife collection include Rock-A-Dile Red, Purlesaurus Rex, Great Bluedini, Pink Swimmingo and Incrediberry. This is exactly the kind of absurd thing I’d want to try despite the fact that I am a grown woman.

Tell me your stories with crazy flavors!

Source

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