Archive for humor

Edgar Allen Poe Sweater

Posted in clothing, humor with tags , on September 12, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Are we ready to get into the spooky spirit of the best time of year? Archie McFee’s is selling this Poe Sweater in the comically accurate One size that fits no one well .

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This is a limited quantity, exclusive item! Some people prefer Halloween to any other holiday and this Edgar Allan Poe Sweater is for them. You could wear it as a Christmas sweater, but it’s designed to be worn on a brisk autumn evening as you contemplate your own mortality while sitting in a graveyard next to an abandoned church. Featuring an honest, but misguided attempt to accurately capture the likeness of Edgar Allan Poe, this sweater is sure to be a conversation piece with you and your friends as you play with a Ouija board and read poetry from your tear-stained journal. This one-size-fits-most sweater is sausage-casing-tight on a 2XL person and awkwardly loose on a medium frame. (I guess that means for me, it’s a dress)

The model photos are amazingly, perfectly awkward.
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Poe Sweater

Twice As Natural

Posted in humor, taxidermy, vintage with tags , , , on September 8, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Phil Are Go! posted a series of images from a 1946 issue of Popular Mechanics that featured behind the scenes taxidermy. The captions containing the *ahem…cough, cough* “reproduced text” are hilarious.

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“Taxidermy” comes from the Latin “taxi”, meaning “yellow car for short term hire” and “dermy”, meaning “having nothing to do with”. Since the dawn of time, Man has been fascinated with killing animals, shoving lots of things into them, and then staring at them. Until the creation of the first museum, these men were just sick weirdos. Now, they are the archivists of the miracle of life, through the glory of death.

The journey of taxidermy begins with the animal being lightly killed. In this photograph, we see a Chimpanzee receiving his “contribution to history injection”. The animal’s last meal may consist of beer or Tang, depending on whether he was a jerk and bit somebody.

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I’m still laughing at the phrase “lightly killed” (though it’s no laughing matter, of course).
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Since I can’t take credit for the writing, I’ll let you read the rest here.

Thank you, Bettie!

Sue Teller

Posted in absurd, craft, humor, video with tags , , , on August 31, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

This woman is beyond awesome; a renegade in the stuffy old world of granny crafts, with more spunk and spirit than most people 1/4 her age. And it’s not just the fact that she seems perpetually hopped up on Mountain Dew. She’s a genuine badass.

I wish there were more videos, but alas, Mrs. Teller only came out with a couple of them.

(Thanks, Bettie!)

Absurd Books of the Week

Posted in absurd, Books, humor with tags , , on August 26, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I was recently given links to two of the most absurd pieces of literature I’ve ever laid eyes on (avert your eyes, children).

As far as I can tell, this little morsel of biblio-beastiality was written unironically. Not only is it sold out on Amazon, but the reviews are strikingly positive.
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And…brace yourselves…THIS is also real.

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If you can’t read that clearly, it’s: How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Here is the author synopsis.

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known a 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has a good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make #### three times in succession without drawing out.

In addition, he also can have burned a strong, beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention, which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.

If you don’t know concentration, which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like hell.

If you see an unbelievable book (vintage or current), please share! I’ll do occasional roundups and credit all contributors.

(Thank you for these great links, Ryogue!)

Floating in the Spam River…

Posted in absurd, humor, TV, video with tags , , , on August 24, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I had a problem with wordpress recently, and no comments or notifications for this blog were sent to me for months (sorry if you left a comment and didn’t get a response! It should be fixed now). I’m also drowning in massive piles of spam comments that are very tedious to weed through in order to get the real messages. But some of them are so nonsensical and entertaining that they actually work as material for the blog itself.

Observe:
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Here’s a favorite:
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For a while, I was getting random facebook comments people left for each other…as comments to my posts. I was smothered in things like “Hey Nicole! Great to see you at the gym the other day!” Not sure how or why that could even happen.

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And the ever-popular topic of conversation (click to enlarge):
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Forbidden Transmission

Posted in 80's, absurd, animation, humor, music video, retro with tags , , , , , , on August 11, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I try not to post long videos here. I understand that everyone is busy (and I personally rarely take the time to watch lengthy videos I come across while browsing online…even if they look interesting). BUT…children of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s…these are worth your time.

The creators have taken (often embarrassing, highly dated, yet in some cases enjoyably nostalgic) clips from bygone TV days and edited them together in themed compilations. I laughed out loud multiple times.

Do not miss the video that begins at 8:00 in Cultural Meltdown. I ferociously googled the lyrics to find out more about this song and nothing came up. But look and listen!

Yeah, that’s the nature of the beast
Keeper of the male persona
Yeah that’s the nature of the beast
Keeper of my status quota

“Status quota?” What does that even mean? Don’t you want to rush to the 8 minute mark now?

There are a bunch of others I intend to watch as well! Thank you, GD, for finding these!

“What is Fashion?” Amazing 80’s Student Film.

Posted in 80's, fashion, film, humor, quotes with tags , , , , on July 30, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

This student film is totally radical…tubular…clutch. I forgot how many kids had braces back then…or should have had braces. See some Breakfast Club runner-ups discuss their ideas of what fashion is and what it means to them!

My favorite line: “Ska is from England. It’s kinda like Duran Duran, sort of. But they’re kinda like, mediocre to this. They’re not as intense.” *headdesk*

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