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Valentine Miscellania Part 1

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, art, comics, craft, dolls, humor, print media, sculpture, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Amazing craft idea for the zombie lover in your life!

Imaginary boyfriends are the best.

This is how to get ALL the ladies!

Who knew cupid’s name was…DAN?

Unparalleled romance:

On a related note, the Newton Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant in Brooklyn is offering a morning tour of its sludge processing facility (I’m not kidding!)

My kinda cupid!

If I ever get married, I would shower my husband with beautiful sentiments like this:

You’ll rarely hear me say this, but…forget the chocolate…I want the box!

I forgot to put this fellow, all spiffy in his Valentine suit, in my Bat Valentine post:

Many folks who frequent this blog would probably appreciate the Tim Burton Valentine Card Set.

Boo Boo the Valentine Ghost just wants someone to love him.

And a couple of other sculpted creatures I found, without artist credit.

10 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 2/8

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, Books, craft, home, humor, photography, politics, video, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

A new piece by Mark Ryden to lust after…

An age old patent for all your cow facade needs:

The ORIGINAL stairway to heaven:

Beautiful sandcastle by Adam Gormley:

Excellent idea!

Great party game:

Why not surprise your loved one with an unforgettable toy this Valentine’s Day?

Oh, BELIEVE IT!

At this restaurant, the only thing higher than the lobster towers is the staff’s hair.

I can almost hear the sweet, melodious tune of this duet.

They say history repeats itself. This political cartoon should be reprinted…

Now, I know it’s exaggerated for dramatic effect here, but this is pretty much exactly what my mind’s eye envisions when someone sneezes near me:

Heh. Wait ’til the 21st Century, girl…it’s called the Internet.

But alas…love hurts.

My best friend loves pickles. I sense an edible Pickle Circus setup at a birthday gift!

And I’ll finish off with a video that begs the question “Why is every sport that looks mildly appealing to me a century old and long since laughed out of existence?”

9 Comments »

Superbowl Food: Stadiums

Posted in food, humor, meat with tags , , on February 5, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Hey Americans, did you know that today is apparently the day when some guys run until they all fall down, in hopes of moving this oddly shaped ball around?

That’s the extent of my football knowledge.

HOWEVER, one Superbowl tradition I completely get behind is the creation of completely obscene food items.

A new favorite is this collection of edible stadiums.

And this is what you’ll need to deal with Superbowl food:

Next year I’m going to a Superbowl party JUST to make a crazy food creation.

2 Comments »

Impromptu Groundhog Day Megapost II

Posted in anthropomorphic, art, vintage, humor, anatomy, creatures, Books, kitsch, craft, ephemera, taxidermy, absurd with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

I never intend to post about this holiday, but I once again got wrapped up in some nifty searches.

How about a few vintage treats to start?

Is the groundhog the instructor, or part of the recipe?

“Nice marmot.”

I’ve learned that anything can be turned into an occasion for beer. Too bad I don’t like beer. Where are the Groundhog Day chocolate parties?

How about a little “art?”

Punxsutawney Phil the Seer of Seers:

King Henry Groundhog (hm?):

How about a painted groundhog tart pan? My goodness, this is depressing.

At least this soap is a bit more cheerful.

This poor guy looks like he’s undergoing an uncomfortable medical procedure.

Colorful…postmodern…

And now for your daily dose of euphemism: the Jolly Groundhog:

Innnnnnnteresting…(I love how this next one is available on “Fine Art America”).

Now this, I really like:

Bloody Groundhog Day:

You better recognize.

And a little taxidermy…

GAH! (The store this comes from is actually pretty great)

His posture is sublime:

The groundhog saw his shadow this morning, so that means six more weeks of…this?

In closing…

Don’t miss the absurd finds on last year’s Groundhog Day post!

13 Comments »

Desktop Goodies

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, art, Books, fashion, humor, photography, products, retrofuturism, sci-fi, surreal, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Although I’m largely opposed to the idea of food in pill form (since eating is one of the finest pleasures in life), this is a pretty fine looking meal tray:

Love the movie…love this piece by Teetering Bulb.

Yeah, this is how most of my days start too…

Oh model in your lovely spine dress, I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave…

Great photograph by Helen Warner:

ACTION JEANS! My ACTION SWEATPANTS actually have some of the same properties. Gotta be prepared if a fight breaks out while I’m scouring the Internet for art and reading science books in my room.

With the sheer proliferation of puns in this text, it must be self-aware, right?

On a related note, I’ve posted about vintage parade floats before, but here’s a new favorite:

Skullball Machine!

Speaking of skulls…

I’m not sure what it says about me that I put this image in my “Valentine” folder:

Paint just gets EVERYWHERE…

And while we’re on the subject of art, leave it to Regretsy to design this handy measurement tool for the less desirable side of some artistic personalities:

I’m not a camper, but I want this tent! Makes me want to venture out into the wilderness (which may or may not mean my own backyard).

And I’ll finish off with the desktop dose of confusion; trading cards seen on Agence Eureka.

Mmmm…steak in a can. That’s the good stuff.

10 Comments »

Desktop Goodies 1/23

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, comics, creatures, dolls, fashion, humor, introvert, meat, robots, science, sculpture, vintage, you can't handle the cute with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

This has come up in about 5 of the blogs I typically follow…so Cyborg Gorbachev is really asking to be posted.

If I were a few inches tall, this would be my preferred mode of transportation.

Amazing doll concept by Ali Gulec:

These life-like Beavis and Butt-Head statues having been making the Internet rounds as well. Wonderful job crafting a photorealistic and rather horrifying vision of these two, Kevin Kirkpatrick. See a few more shots here.

Why I love being an introvert:

On a related note, I think this would make great club wear for introverts. It really sends the right message if one is not in the mood for human interaction: Come one step closer and I will BITE you!

Finally, the trendy luxury toward which I harbor an extreme distaste finds a home in serial killer apparel. THIS, I like.

I’m with you, Neil!

Fatal Attraction had NOTHING on this:

Bear with me for a moment of extreme adorableness…

And speaking of cats, take a look at what I always pretty much assumed would be my own future (everybody knows it’s not official until facebook says so…this is the real deal):

Ohhhh-kay, so I’ll admit that I only envision myself in a relationship with one or two cats. I’m about quality, not quantity.

Now we come to the portion of this blog post where I try to avoid making a pun about something being “fishy” here…

Usually at least one of my Desktop Goodies will launch me into utter confusion. Today’s baffling example (caption, anyone?):

…and by “Projection Equipment” they mean her brassiere:

Ladies, I’ll leave you with this romantic gift idea: raw meat.

7 Comments »

Rate My Rat

Posted in absurd, creatures, humor, photography, politics, satire with tags , , , , , on January 17, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Rate My Rat is an ingenious plan to call attention to the ways in which NYC publicly funded Subway cleanup is sorely lacking. New Yorkers have been asked to submit their subway rat photos, and the gallery is open for viewing and rating.

My favorite? I call this one Hedonism Rat:

Tell me he doesn’t remind you of Hedonism Bot on Futurama…

I must say I was delighted with the folks in my homeland for coming up with this absurdly wonderful campaign.

Check out the rat gallery here.

12 Comments »

Image Odyssey: Awful Jesus Tattoos

Posted in absurd, body decoration, humor, image odyssey with tags , , , on January 6, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

I try to be an informed, responsible citizen and pay attention to the news. However, while browsing for important content that is somehow relevant to the state of the human condition, I came across something that The Internets deem quite newsworthy: Justin Bieber’s new Jesus tattoo.

So I figured there must be tons of awful Jesus tattoos out there. My search did not disappoint.

People of all religions or lack thereof…let us unite in our common faith in human beings…to make bad decisions.

Is this Jesus, Will Ferrell, or some kind of hybrid Ferrell Christ?

I don’t know what to say about this, other than “that’s a shame for everyone involved:”

Hm. Okay.

It looks like Jesus wears his sunglasses at night…

Just put the eyes *somewhere* on the face. Anywhere will do.

Easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Christ (Jesus is wearing Cover Girl smudge proof mascara, in “Film Noir”):

I’m speechless…I’m…sorry…I’m…uncomfortable and confused.

Poor Jesus looks so disgusted to be on this man’s head that he’s downright ill. I don’t blame him.

Same here:

Ready for a different twist? Jesus WITH a tattoo! Don’t like it? Tell it to his acid wash jeans!

Sadly, this post will probably get more hits (and disappointed viewers) than anything I’ve posted in years because it contains the words “Justin Bieber.”

18 Comments »

New Years Miscellania

Posted in art, ephemera, food, humor, music video, retro, video, vintage with tags , , , , , , , on January 1, 2012 by shewalkssoftly

Happy 2012, folks!

I enjoyed this vintage glimpse of New Years past as the clock wound down last night.

Followed by the smooooooth sounds of Trololo:

Here’s a nice little 2012 collage by Marko Purac:

The companion piece actually reminds me a bit more of my feelings about 2011:

Here’s another that’s been circulating, by Trevor Brown:

And this is one of my all time favorite New Years cards (date unknown). Judging from the picture, “the pace that kills” is probably about 15 miles per hour.

WordPress sent me a note chronicling my top 5 most popular posts of 2011. I was kind of hoping I could find my top 5 LEAST popular ones and list them here for the fun of it…but there’s no easy way to access that. So, in case you missed them, the “top 5″ (not necessarily written in the past year) are:

Pumpkin Megapost
Ernst Haeckel
Halloween Wedding Cakes
Owl Tattoos
Sushi Cake

Hope everyone has a lovely day today…

4 Comments »

Holiday Desktop Goodies Part 2

Posted in absurd, advertising, candy coated nightmares, christmas, craft, creatures, decoration, ephemera, food, humor, illustration, kitsch, music, photography, plush, retro, TV, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2011 by shewalkssoftly

Behold, the Castle Grayskull igloo!

Source

I vaguely remember this special…

Aww…look at this little gentleman from Handmade Stuffs:

A little metallic minimalism:

And for those who don’t want minimalism, a giant ball of Christmas pudding:

Absolutely no comment here. This blog is a family establishment.

Hey…Santa isn’t supposed to be a rugged lumber jack! If this version of our beloved St. Nicholas showed up at my house, I’d give him yard work to do.

If Santa were a Shih Tzu:

And this one appears to have had a run-in with some pepper spray.

He sees you when you’re sleeping…

Now for some beautiful sweets, a gingerbread typewriter:

If anyone has either of these musical gems, please share!

On the other hand, please do NOT send me this album. Oh Scott Weiland…why? I gave STP quite a few spins in my adolescence, but Weiland’s crooning on this album makes me sad, uncomfortable, and a bit embarrassed for him. Go ahead and listen to some samples if you want to see why this is what the bad children should get for Christmas.

Speaking of sad, it looks like this Santa was just released from the burn unit:

One of a series of Christmas illustrations by Graham Wilson (he does some great Christmas/Halloween mashups too).

Proportion? Never heard of it. Santa is magical. He can do what he wants.

A decoration for the Trekkies!

Kitteh refuses to be your holiday prop (I love the hand on the left, presumably going to help…a little too late).

This X-ray tree by Nick Veasey (whom I could have sworn I posted about before, but is not turning up in my searches) would make a wonderful holiday card.

Or if you prefer a glow in the dark variety:

We’ll finish with this amazing Harold Lloyd Christmas tree, recently posted by my friends at Unusual Life.

4 Comments »

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