Archive for humor

Halloween Countdown: The Devil and Daniel Mouse

Posted in animation, halloween, humor, retro, TV, video with tags , , , , , on October 7, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

My earliest conscious memories involve a (harmless) deep intrigue and love of darkness. As a very young child I used to enjoy traipsing around my local library, looking for spooky goodies. Still do.

Given my innate radar, I was drawn to this box immediately, as it was the only one in the kids section that had a black spine and cover with ominous writing instead of the usual kid-friendly color schemes and bubble letters.

I was further entranced by the Devil’s voluminous neck folds. Admit it…you can’t look away.
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The Devil and Daniel Mouse (loosely based on the Faustian short story The Devil and Daniel Webster), was released as a Halloween special in 1978. Once I found this in the video section, I got my parents to rent it for me multiple times.

The plot (via IMDB):
Finding their audience drying up in favour of rock music, two young mouse folk singers find themselves with a bleak future. Desperate for a better career and life, the female vows that she would do anything to become a rock star. Instantly, the Devil arises to take advantage of that and offers to make her a star in exchange for her soul. She agrees and she quickly becomes the star she’s dreamed of while her boyfriend, Daniel Mouse, is left behind. On the night of her greatest triumph, the devil comes to collect on her soul. In desperation, she turns to Daniel who must attempt the impossible task of trying to find an escape loophole for his girl’s release.

I’ll be straight with you here…The ending is pretty lame. Spoiler alert:

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Despite a deep belief in the transformative power of song, I couldn’t get behind this. Perhaps a testament to the cynicism of my old age, I found myself thinking “A song does not negate a legally binding contract. Oh, come on Dana…it’s a cartoon! Suspension of disbelief! Think of it metaphorically, or something.” And even as a 4 year old I fast forwarded through the (intensely 1970’s) musical interludes. But this whole cartoon is worth it for the perpetually shape-shifting Devil, who is an absolute delight.

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There are many fists of fury poses…
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If you dig retro animation, watch this for good ol’ B.L. Zebub. Let me know what you think!

[Edit] Thank you, Bettie, for reminding me that this was sampled in Bauhaus’s “Party of the 1st Part.”

Desktop Goodies: Crazy Book Edition

Posted in absurd, Books, humor, vintage with tags , , , on September 26, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

My apologies if any of these are repeats. I may have posted one or two of them and accidentally re-saved, but I’m pretty sure almost all of these are new to the blog.

Don’t get me wrong; the best things in life are truly free…but just in case, there’s a book for people who care enough to do the very least.
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This poor man looks like he’s happy as he prepares his wife for the reaping of grim death.
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I wonder how long this book is. How much can be written about this particular subject? Chapter one: turn on water. Chapter two: turn off water. Chapter three: sit in water. Chapter four: get out of water. Did I just write a book?
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Suspend your disbelief…
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It might be difficult for those without a corporeal form to get their hands on this book (literally, I guess). But it’s good to be prepared.
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Best autobiography title I’ve ever seen:
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We all do it:
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I have the power to walk through my house in a sheer negligee with a bouquet of flowers…
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“Erogetic” appears to be a word entirely made up for the sake of this book. But a picture is worth a thousand words.
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Edgar Allen Poe Sweater

Posted in clothing, humor with tags , on September 12, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Are we ready to get into the spooky spirit of the best time of year? Archie McFee’s is selling this Poe Sweater in the comically accurate One size that fits no one well .

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This is a limited quantity, exclusive item! Some people prefer Halloween to any other holiday and this Edgar Allan Poe Sweater is for them. You could wear it as a Christmas sweater, but it’s designed to be worn on a brisk autumn evening as you contemplate your own mortality while sitting in a graveyard next to an abandoned church. Featuring an honest, but misguided attempt to accurately capture the likeness of Edgar Allan Poe, this sweater is sure to be a conversation piece with you and your friends as you play with a Ouija board and read poetry from your tear-stained journal. This one-size-fits-most sweater is sausage-casing-tight on a 2XL person and awkwardly loose on a medium frame. (I guess that means for me, it’s a dress)

The model photos are amazingly, perfectly awkward.
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Poe Sweater

Twice As Natural

Posted in humor, taxidermy, vintage with tags , , , on September 8, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Phil Are Go! posted a series of images from a 1946 issue of Popular Mechanics that featured behind the scenes taxidermy. The captions containing the *ahem…cough, cough* “reproduced text” are hilarious.

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“Taxidermy” comes from the Latin “taxi”, meaning “yellow car for short term hire” and “dermy”, meaning “having nothing to do with”. Since the dawn of time, Man has been fascinated with killing animals, shoving lots of things into them, and then staring at them. Until the creation of the first museum, these men were just sick weirdos. Now, they are the archivists of the miracle of life, through the glory of death.

The journey of taxidermy begins with the animal being lightly killed. In this photograph, we see a Chimpanzee receiving his “contribution to history injection”. The animal’s last meal may consist of beer or Tang, depending on whether he was a jerk and bit somebody.

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I’m still laughing at the phrase “lightly killed” (though it’s no laughing matter, of course).
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Since I can’t take credit for the writing, I’ll let you read the rest here.

Thank you, Bettie!

Sue Teller

Posted in absurd, craft, humor, video with tags , , , on August 31, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

This woman is beyond awesome; a renegade in the stuffy old world of granny crafts, with more spunk and spirit than most people 1/4 her age. And it’s not just the fact that she seems perpetually hopped up on Mountain Dew. She’s a genuine badass.

I wish there were more videos, but alas, Mrs. Teller only came out with a couple of them.

(Thanks, Bettie!)

Absurd Books of the Week

Posted in absurd, Books, humor with tags , , on August 26, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I was recently given links to two of the most absurd pieces of literature I’ve ever laid eyes on (avert your eyes, children).

As far as I can tell, this little morsel of biblio-beastiality was written unironically. Not only is it sold out on Amazon, but the reviews are strikingly positive.
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And…brace yourselves…THIS is also real.

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If you can’t read that clearly, it’s: How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Here is the author synopsis.

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known a 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has a good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make #### three times in succession without drawing out.

In addition, he also can have burned a strong, beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention, which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.

If you don’t know concentration, which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like hell.

If you see an unbelievable book (vintage or current), please share! I’ll do occasional roundups and credit all contributors.

(Thank you for these great links, Ryogue!)

Floating in the Spam River…

Posted in absurd, humor, TV, video with tags , , , on August 24, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I had a problem with wordpress recently, and no comments or notifications for this blog were sent to me for months (sorry if you left a comment and didn’t get a response! It should be fixed now). I’m also drowning in massive piles of spam comments that are very tedious to weed through in order to get the real messages. But some of them are so nonsensical and entertaining that they actually work as material for the blog itself.

Observe:
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Here’s a favorite:
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For a while, I was getting random facebook comments people left for each other…as comments to my posts. I was smothered in things like “Hey Nicole! Great to see you at the gym the other day!” Not sure how or why that could even happen.

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And the ever-popular topic of conversation (click to enlarge):
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