Archive for humor

How to Talk to Your Cat About…

Posted in Books, cats, creatures, humor with tags , , , on June 25, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

With two new kittens in the house (who have completely dominated my heart and attention since they arrived 4 days ago), I realized it’s never too early to educate them on important topics.

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This collar…perfection.
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Yes, these are real pamphlets, available here.

This post is dedicated to my boy Dr. Morbius (after Forbidden Planet, as opposed to Marvel comics Dr. Michael Morbius…I can’t believe I’m geeky enough to specify that distinction) and my little lady, Ms. Nimbus.
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Lest you had any doubt that I’m totally out of my mind, their FULL names are Dr. Morbius Doodles and Ms. Nimbus Biscuit. All I can say is…you’d get it if you met them. I promise.

Summary Bug

Posted in film, humor, TV with tags , , on June 1, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

Summary Bug is a roundup of hilarious, unintentional text glitches in Netflix (and cable) show descriptions.

My favorite:
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Hm. They’ve taken some artistic liberties in this adaptation, and let the Hunchback branch out into the career he always dreamed of: time traveling paleontological ophthalmologist.
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I knew his noble stoicism was a front.
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A phenomenological tour de force, no doubt:
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Followers are starting to post their own fabulous glitches. Some are truly amazing.
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I hope these glitches never get fixed.

Summary Bug

Vintage Overexcited Mothers

Posted in absurd, art, humor, vintage with tags , , , on May 10, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

This post began as a search for vintage Mother’s Day images, but what I found was a series of domestic ladies who are altogether TOO expressive. Look at all the exciting things women can do!

Have you ever seen anyone so excited about pots and pans?
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Grocery shopping!
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Drinking tea!
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Driving!
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Smoking!
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Doing the dishes!
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Wondering where the bacon went!
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And my personal favorite: the utterly unparallelled rhapsody of cleaning!
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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Desktop Goodies 4/27

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, Books, clothing, creatures, horror, humor, monsters, retro, sci-fi, street art, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

WHY don’t more buses look like this? It’s such a missed opportunity NOT to paint giant teeth on all of them.
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I’m sure this valid excuse resulted in instant exoneration:
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Yeah, but the Wild Germ has anger issues…
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One must look at the tagline and consider whether it is really the kind of attention ones wants.
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What has she seen?
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…Perhaps Karloff’s carload of arsenic?
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If I ever get to space, I’m traveling via giant, helmet-clad intergalactic puppy.
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A very touching piece of street art.
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AS fellow fans of The IT Crowd know, two is the best number of eyes.
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Yep.
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The sweet, pink title image is excellent with a cat that looks exceedingly unamused.
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The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

Posted in absurd, film, food, humor with tags , , , on March 30, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

I’m going to begin this post with a statement some might consider utterly blasphemous: I hate chicken wings. Never touch ’em.

The Great Chicken Wing Hunt proves that a well made documentary can keep one thoroughly interested and entertained by subjects one has absolutely no natural inclination to enjoy. I, lifelong chicken wing hater, genuinely loved this film and I highly recommend it.

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I cannot imagine a single human being (wing lover or otherwise) reading the following synopsis and NOT rushing to see it:

American expatriate, international journalist and upstate New Yorker Matt Reynolds forsakes a successful life in Eastern Europe, compelled by a singular obsession: find the world’s best Buffalo chicken wing. Joined by his long-suffering Czech girlfriend, a perplexed Slovak film crew, and a ragtag gang of wing-obsessed misfits recruited online, Reynolds embarks on THE GREAT CHICKEN WING HUNT. After 2,627 miles and 284 varieties of wings, the quest ends in the very countryside of Reynolds’ childhood, where he discovers that the perfection he has sought so hard to find was right under his nose all along.

Watch the trailer:

Hulu links will not embed on WordPress, but you can watch the full movie for free HERE!

The film has, for good reason, snatched up a number of indie film awards. It’s remarkably clever, surprisingly touching at times, and for the wing enthusiasts out there…rather informative. Let me know what you think!

The Great Chicken Wing Hunt

BONUS SHORT FILM by creator Matt Reynolds: Lebowski, My Czech Wife and Me; a heartening look at a husband and wife’s divergent opinions on one of the best comedic feats of recent film history (I guess that qualifier reveals my own stance on the issue).

Strange Remains Week: Fireworks, Bullets, Hourglasses andTattoos

Posted in absurd, body decoration, death, humor, video with tags , , , , on March 22, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

We’ve come to the final post of Strange Remains Week (I thought it was interesting, but my readership dropped by HALF for these posts only, so I gather others were not as entertained. Sorry!).

So let’s go out with a bang. Literally. Heavens Above Fireworks will shoot cremains into the air. This is great for anyone who is asked “What makes an ideal funeral” and replies “pyrotechnics.”

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We offer a variety of professional fired displays. These are planned to meet specific client requests and can be supported by other activities. We also offer other services including rockets for self firing incorporating funeral ashes and these can be supported by other fireworks to create your own mini display and we can provide the service for pets ashes too.

And speaking of bangs…did you know a human body can be turned into a bullet at Holy Smoke?

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The process of having cremated ash placed in live ammunition begins when you contact us. Once the caliber, gauge and other ammunition parameters have been selected, we will ask you (by way of your funeral service provider) to send approximately one pound of the decedents ash to us. Upon receiving the ashes our professional and reverent staff will place a measured portion of ash into each shotshell or cartridge.

The bottom of their website features this image, for no discernible reason.

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I’ve always had a thing for hourglasses (one day I’d like to have a nice one in my library). They make a rather poignant cremation statement, don’t they? In The Light Urns can do it.

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The Rings of Time Hourglass Keepsake Urn makes a statement due to it’s beautiful workmanship and size. It is a wonderful way to reflect on the sands of time and the time that you and your loved one shared.

Hourglass urns for ashes are made differently than a regular hourglass timer. The Rings of Time Hourglass Keepsake Urn is a keepsake and holds a small portion of cremains. They cannot be an exactly timed, due to the consistency of the cremains. However, they are a memorial like no other. The hourglass is the ultimate symbol of the passage of time, and will become an family heirloom, passed down for generations.

Memorial tattoos are nothing new, but using ashes in tattoo ink has gained a bit of ground (it’s only a “microscopic amount” so it’s more of a symbolic gesture).

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One tattoo artist made a video about the process:

As Mel Blanc said…that’s all folks.
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Strange Remains Week: 3D Heads and Textiles

Posted in absurd, death, humor, nature with tags , , , on March 21, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

This was one of the creepier offerings I came across: a 3D printed model of the deceased from Cremation Solutions to serve as an urn.

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Here’s a model of Obama, to show the “perfect likeness” (which to me, registers way more as uncanny valley):

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Life size models are also available.
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According to the site:
One benefit to these personalized urns is that there will never be a doubt about what they are. With a regular urn, you are undoubtedly asked questions about what it’s for, and that leads to a conversation about the deceased. People who are unfamiliar with the urn might mistake it for a vase or some other container and try to open it. With these urns, you can avoid those questions.

You may not, however, be able to avoid the question “WHY?”

A less jarring option is is the eco friendly textile coffin from Natural Legacy.

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This is an innovative coffin and something completely new for the alternative coffin market, but the use of wool in burials is nothing new. The Burial in Wool Act of 1667 made it a legal requirement for the dead to be buried in woollen shrouds in an attempt to boost the struggling woollen industry of the time. With the current social eco agenda, rising concerns on the environmental impact of burials and this innovative product, the industry has come full circle.

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