Archive for advertising

Desktop Goodies: 2/4

Posted in 80's, absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, Books, humor, medicine, oddities, robots, sea, skulls and skeletons, taxidermy, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

You’re being welcomed into this post by anthropomorphic hotdog with breasts.
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As far as I can tell, this is a real vintage ad. Probably one of the most jaw-dropping examples I’ve seen.
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Imagine this is what you’re really standing on.
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I prefer my tables without testicles.
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Don’t miss the other title by this author on the bottom.
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For “elegant women of refinement and taste.”
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Just your average note-wielding mouse on a lobster.
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I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is this a medical assistance device? Unless it’s equipped with some sort of pulley mechanism to lift bodies in need, I see very little purpose for lying on something LESS comfortable, a few inches above something designed for lying on.
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And now, in today’s installment of unappealing instructional material…Meet the man who can tell you how to lick pimples.
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Haunted…
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In conclusion, cats are the cure for everything.
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Desktop Goodies 1/22

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, comics, creatures, photography, satire, sci-fi, skulls and skeletons, vintage, you can't handle the cute with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 22, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

Yep, these are real birds…
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…not Tribbles with eyes.
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I wanted so much to believe this is an actual album, but sadly I don’t see it on Amazon or YouTube.
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Now THIS is music! I can almost hear their sweet, fruity harmonizing.
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1926 skull clock created by the German Oswald clockmaking workshop. They eyes rotate to tell the time.
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For maximum safety, place your child in a crib that appears to be a cross between a glass coffin and what magicians use to saw people in half.
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A unique abduction? Eye don’t know.
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MONSTER SOUP OF THE THAMES!
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Never neglect your bowels.
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I wish this were part of a large “Things to Do With a Giant Head” photo collection. There are two fine suggestions here:
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The Shadow is a force, indeed.
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The challenges we rarely think of…
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Desktop Goodies 1/14

Posted in absurd, advertising, anthropomorphic, art, Books, craft, creatures, food, humor, nature, photography, sea, skulls and skeletons, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

How NOT to decorate your lobster. I call this Stairway to Hell.
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Gorgeous carving work.
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Enchanting…
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Intriguing…
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If only humans could leave behind the tangible structure of their own transformations to look back on.
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I love how one happy consumer claims that a tablet of soap whittled her waist from 62 to 48 inches.
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But some old ads EMBRACED a little junk in the trunk (how anyone thought the name “CHUBETTES” was a winner for a clothing line, I do not know).
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Tick tock…
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Adorable little skelly and her pet!
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This is amazing in so many ways. Was this mushroom an official mascot of some sort, or just a damn fine costume?
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This looks like something a child would paint in art class.
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Everybody dance now!
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Best search query of the week: “Why is Nicholas Cage on the cover of a Serbian Biology textbook?”
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It’s a Swing Wing!

Posted in absurd, advertising, toys, vintage with tags , , , on December 29, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

“It’s a WHAT?”, the commercial inquires. An appropriate exclamation for the Swing Wing, as it almost touches effectively upon the sense of bafflement one experiences upon viewing it.

What I have to say about this item was neatly summarized in my response to the loved one who shared it:

D: So…enough people really thought this whiplash-inducing device was a good idea to get the thing patented?

“Mommy, I want to play.”

“Ok darling! Go thrash your head violently and whip your own eyeballs. Here’s a cat o’ nine tails on a hat.”

C: Evidently yes! In fact, cut & paste that hypothetical conversation alongside this video and you’ve got yourself a tidy little SWS post, eh?

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Also from Transogram, their patent-pending Bouncy Running Scissors and Kooky Box O’ Glass Shards. Just kidding. Or maybe not…I don’t know what else they made.

Holiday Desktop Goodies 12/23

Posted in advertising, art, humor with tags , , , , , , , on December 23, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

“He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good, or he’ll crush your car with his gargantuan hands as you drive.”
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I’m not usually into tinsel, but this is absolutely stunning. It looks like real shimmering icicles.
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Ah, that is the question:
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Walking in a Winter Wonder Lard.
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And now for some nifty Christmas art.
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That ornament is about to be pawed to the floor and shattered.
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Yikes.
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Vincent price goes tree shopping!
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Gingerbread Enterprise! (Dedicated to my dad and our many nights watching Star Trek TNG when I was a kid)
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Holiday Desktop Goodies 12/18

Posted in absurd, advertising, candy coated nightmares, christmas, dolls, ephemera, food, humor, kitsch, monsters, photography, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 18, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

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I think a series of all of the Haunted Mansion Grim Grinning Ghosts would make an excellent ornament collection.
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This image is just perfect: happy tan lady with happy man, angry pale lady, pale lady’s partner not-so-inconspicuously eying her sunkissed rival. Don’tyou want a sun lamp now?
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Amazing relationship advice from the folks at Dormeyer: use tears to manipulate your husband into purchasing household items. Maybe if I fake a sense of victimhood I can score a toaster this Christmas.
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A man who knows what he wants (even the big Kewpie is looking at him like “Seriously, dude?”):
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Holy hell…
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How to traumatize birds:
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And by “Merry” I mean “there are bodies in the basement:”
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This drenched, freezing Yeti standing in a flood may be the most depressing card ever.
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The pudding has broken out in fluid filled pustules.
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And now for the piece de resitance (don’t gloss over this one. Take in every detail):
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Desktop Goodies 11/15

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, art, Books, candy coated nightmares, humor, sculpture, sea, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 15, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I’ve always been fascinated by “visible” anatomy models. I finally have a kit, waiting to be built (it’s a real labor of love, as all the organs and parts are white and must be hand painted!). But I look forward to it. Here’s a classic:
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Is he dead in the back of your van?
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A lesser known medical condition…
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Maybe it’s just me, but not once in my life have I thought I’d like to “relax” by having my breasts vibrate.
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If you want to feel like a rainbow threw up on your bed, I’ve got the sheets for you! The lollipop (and satisfied smile) really makes this image.
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Gorgeous pulp art illusion.
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Octopus gargoyle! More buildings need these.
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One of the most breathtaking sand sculptures I’ve ever seen.
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This is a real book. Can you image, even in your wildest dreams, a more romantic title? Nevermind the fact that he appears to be strangling her.
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Wow. Ads have come a long way. Now they only imply that people hate the sight of you.
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Yes, please.
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Most of us probably walk around having no idea how adorable baby llamas are. Now you know.
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Caption contest: what is this bear telling her?
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