Archive for advertising

Fast Food Photoshop

Posted in advertising, food, soapbox, vintage with tags , , , on June 11, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

What you see below is an actual ad for a Burger Chef hamburger (Mad Men fans, Burger Chef is a real company!). I think this is excellent; what you see is what you get. I’m pretty damn sure this is an accurate representation of the item. They didn’t even bother to strategically place the onions in a relatively even distribution. The burger is smaller than the bun. A lone pickle slice graces the nucleus of the burger structure.
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Over 50 years later, fast food recipes have not changed all that much (save for much larger portions). But we DO have one secret ingredient that makes a monumental difference: PHOTOSHOP.

Enter the Burger King Whopper. Look at that flame broiled, juicy patty extending past the bun, residing under a veritable tower of fresh, shiny, crunchy produce. The edge of the tomato slice even has perfect little water droplets on it (has anyone EVER seen that in real life?)!
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I find it fascinating that even FOOD is subject to the unrealistic ideals increasingly created/perpetuated by the media. It’s startling to view pictures of what was considered “attractive” just half a century ago, human or otherwise. There is an ever-widening rift between what actual humans and products look like and the fabricated hyperrealistic “paintings” that have taken the place of photographs (I was going to post some human examples, but you get the idea!).

Desktop Goodies 4/17

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, food, humor, kitsch, oddities, photography, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Welcome to this edition of desktop goodies!
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Would you buy Kellog’s corn flakes after seeing a child in the ad who looks like he’s be propped and posed postmortem?
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Antique “eye massager,” for when your eyes need a little therapeutic squishin’!
Eye Massager.

AXOLOTL in a portrait! (See some axolotl info here, and an artistic interpretation here)
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Don’t mind him…he’s really into that “sitting in a wall” thing.
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The most complete system ever? Really?
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I’m going to give you a great life tip here, folks. So listen up: be sure to set the iron to medium heat so as not to burn your crocodile.
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The world’s most wistful butter substitute:
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You can conveniently sell your sister by placing a check mark in the appropriate box.
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Don’t say it, Dana…don’t say this piece of kitsch is…”corny.” D’OH!
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Desktop Goodies: Food & Fashion

Posted in absurd, fashion, food, vintage with tags , , , , on February 23, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Look at these expressive faces!
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The most perfectly melted cheese I’ve ever seen…in a necklace.
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Um, just throw enough leftover crap excavated from couch cushions, past holiday waste and candy dishes on top. VIOLA…festive cake!
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Until now, I’m sure you’ve underestimated the sensual qualities of lettuce.
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Sweet, sweet style.
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I’ll finish with this sexy vintage shark.
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Desktop Goodies 12/23

Posted in absurd, advertising, art, christmas, comics, decoration, horror, photography, retrofuturism, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

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www.pinterest.com

By my talented friend Andy:
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Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

Fangoria’s Gingerbread Ad Campaign

Posted in advertising, christmas, horror, macabre, print media with tags , , , , on December 18, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

A twisted take on the proliferation of cutesy holiday ads, by the #1 horror magazine!

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Source
Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

Vintage Michelin Man

Posted in advertising, vintage with tags , on December 14, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

We’ve all seen the Michelin Man…this happy go lucky character who looks like a sweet cross between the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and a mummy.

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Well he wasn’t always so sweet. Let’s take a journey back in time, shall we?

1950:
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1912:
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Early 1900s:
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Read about it and see more (horrifying) pictures here!

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

Pre-Treatment Desktop Goodies!

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, Books, creatures, ephemera, food, humor, kitsch, photography, postcards, sea, surreal, thrift horror, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 24, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

And now a little installment of DG before I go down the medical rabbit hole for an indeterminate period of time.

Man, Edmund’s been talking for a LONG time.
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Start ‘em young.
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Gorgeous vintage Vogue cover by Salvador Dali.
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THINK your way to visible virility!
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Very little info on this, but wow…
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What puffer cake has seen cannot be unseen.
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I love this because the skeleton can either be reaching for OR releasing the heart, depending on the eye of the beholder.
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The Barbie Dream Snake:
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If a higher power exists, I’m sure it speaks through cats exclusively, actually.
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“Who you callin’ chicken?”
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I wish this were an actual vintage piece.
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Tip from the SheWalksSoftly school of psychology: If someone hurts your feelings, sending a greeting card with one of the worst puns on earth is not likely to remedy the relationship.
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Now, let’s everybody hope that the doctors have an ALL CHOCOLATE treatment planned for me next week.
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Desktop Goodies 7/14

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, Books, kitsch, quotes, sea, toys, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Alpha, much? (Reminds me of Max Power: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w3zdkmw2E4)
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This book is just a blank page with a single word: DON’T.
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Love this little man’s style…
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Child “guidance,” toward the ever important world of trans fats.
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Holy exploding cloaca! Who would brand their product this way?
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“With victim.”
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Yes, yes and yes.
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Totally agreed.
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Is it me, or do you feel a draft?
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This story has all of my favorite things!
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Answer to the age-old problem.
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Put a bird in it.
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Excellent grammar lesson.
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Hope you are all feeling beautiful today.
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Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

Campbell’s Soup Kids

Posted in advertising, candy coated nightmares, dolls, kitsch with tags , , , on June 21, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Let’s take a moment to focus on the kitschy, cutesy iconic marketing creations of Campbell’s.

Brace yourself…here they come…
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The Campbell Kids have been selling Campbell’s Soup since 1904 when Grace Wiederseim Drayton, an illustrator and writer, added some sketches of children to her husband’s advertising layout for a Campbell’s condensed soup. The Campbell advertising agents loved the child appeal and choose Mrs. Wiederseim’s sketches as trademarks. -Source

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I’m not sure what prompted Ms. Drayton to draw them as if they were hopped up on too much Adderall, but they certainly make an impression.

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Yes, they are staring right into the recesses of your soul, burning a hole in your brain…

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The dolls are equally terrifying, yet I’d kind of like to have one (or two). I will leave them staring at unsuspecting guests when I step out of the room.

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Desktop Goodies 6/4

Posted in absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, clothing, humor, medicine, photography, products, retro, surreal, thrift horror, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Brains: it’s what’s for dinner.
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And speaking of, who thought a grinning peanut grinding his own brain out onto a platter was…a great idea for a product? I envision a young Hannibal Lecter having a lovely time with this. Don’t get me wrong. I’d like one.
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For the one time every few years that I need to physically remove a staple:
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What actually happens when you have a toothache. Next time you are bothered, understand that it is just the worms, demons and ghosts acting up beneath your enamel.
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Mid-century America presents NARCISSISM: THE DRESS.
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I don’t. But I’ve heard the stories.
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Ohhhhhh…so that’s how you get a man. You glue him down! I’ve been doing it wrong.
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A real book; I kid you not:
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When a man is asked what is perfectly irresistible I highly doubt “wool mantilla” is the first item that comes to mind (click picture to enlarge).
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The quote that made my week (thanks, Casey):
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Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

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