Archive for the vintage Category

Desktop Goodies: Crazy Book Edition

Posted in absurd, Books, humor, vintage with tags , , , on September 26, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

My apologies if any of these are repeats. I may have posted one or two of them and accidentally re-saved, but I’m pretty sure almost all of these are new to the blog.

Don’t get me wrong; the best things in life are truly free…but just in case, there’s a book for people who care enough to do the very least.
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This poor man looks like he’s happy as he prepares his wife for the reaping of grim death.
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I wonder how long this book is. How much can be written about this particular subject? Chapter one: turn on water. Chapter two: turn off water. Chapter three: sit in water. Chapter four: get out of water. Did I just write a book?
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Suspend your disbelief…
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It might be difficult for those without a corporeal form to get their hands on this book (literally, I guess). But it’s good to be prepared.
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Best autobiography title I’ve ever seen:
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We all do it:
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I have the power to walk through my house in a sheer negligee with a bouquet of flowers…
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“Erogetic” appears to be a word entirely made up for the sake of this book. But a picture is worth a thousand words.
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Twice As Natural

Posted in humor, taxidermy, vintage with tags , , , on September 8, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Phil Are Go! posted a series of images from a 1946 issue of Popular Mechanics that featured behind the scenes taxidermy. The captions containing the *ahem…cough, cough* “reproduced text” are hilarious.

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“Taxidermy” comes from the Latin “taxi”, meaning “yellow car for short term hire” and “dermy”, meaning “having nothing to do with”. Since the dawn of time, Man has been fascinated with killing animals, shoving lots of things into them, and then staring at them. Until the creation of the first museum, these men were just sick weirdos. Now, they are the archivists of the miracle of life, through the glory of death.

The journey of taxidermy begins with the animal being lightly killed. In this photograph, we see a Chimpanzee receiving his “contribution to history injection”. The animal’s last meal may consist of beer or Tang, depending on whether he was a jerk and bit somebody.

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I’m still laughing at the phrase “lightly killed” (though it’s no laughing matter, of course).
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Since I can’t take credit for the writing, I’ll let you read the rest here.

Thank you, Bettie!

Snik Snak

Posted in advertising, food, retro, vintage with tags , , , on August 28, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

You’ve got to be kidding me. Really. (That was my reaction when I saw this product).

Did you know the delicious Kit Kat bar, made by Hersheys, once had a rival by the Mars candy company?

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Milk chocolate around 3 layers of crisp wafers, packaged in break-off sticks. Look familiar? Aside from the ridiculously similar name, product specifics, and wrapper color scheme, Snik Snak’s catch phrase was “Take a break” as opposed to Kit Kat’s “Gimmie a break.” How Mars got away with this and it stayed on shelves for , I’ll never know!

I think the warped, horrible quality of the VHS commercial here only adds to it.

Source

Alfred Hitchcock Book Covers Megapost: Part 1

Posted in art, Books, illustration, vintage with tags , , , on August 14, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

The master of suspense had many books. While I’ve enjoyed his TV shows and movies very much, I don’t think I’ve actually read any of the books. However, I adore the vintage book covers, almost all of which have Hitchcock himself somehow incorporated (often humorously) into the artwork. I’ve managed to collect many images of them over the years, so here’s the first installment.

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Desktop Goodies 7/25

Posted in absurd, automata, Books, ephemera, humor, monsters, vintage with tags , , , , , , , on July 25, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

I apologize if I’ve posted some of these before. I forgot to clean out my “desktop goodies” folder and I may be repeating myself (though I don’t think so). Either way, these treasures are worth seeing.

This is real!
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I’ve seen fortune teller automata before, but never Puss in Boots. He sees straight into your soul. It burns.
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Take a moment to really absorb and digest this book. This may be one of the most horribly absurd things I’ve seen, and that’s saying something.
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I love this headstone. If I am interred, I hope I get a lot of reading done down there.
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Famous monster candle making? Sign me up!
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Need I comment on this? I think not.
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Where’s the bumper sticker that says MY OTHER CAR IS A FLOWER COVERED CARRIAGE STEERED BY A GIANT DEER HEAD?
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Dr. Coffins wonders why his private practice attracts very few patients.
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Talk about a niche market!
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Best caption ever.
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In closing, we must all ask ourselves…
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Fast Food Photoshop

Posted in advertising, food, soapbox, vintage with tags , , , on June 11, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

What you see below is an actual ad for a Burger Chef hamburger (Mad Men fans, Burger Chef is a real company!). I think this is excellent; what you see is what you get. I’m pretty damn sure this is an accurate representation of the item. They didn’t even bother to strategically place the onions in a relatively even distribution. The burger is smaller than the bun. A lone pickle slice graces the nucleus of the burger structure.
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Over 50 years later, fast food recipes have not changed all that much (save for much larger portions). But we DO have one secret ingredient that makes a monumental difference: PHOTOSHOP.

Enter the Burger King Whopper. Look at that flame broiled, juicy patty extending past the bun, residing under a veritable tower of fresh, shiny, crunchy produce. The edge of the tomato slice even has perfect little water droplets on it (has anyone EVER seen that in real life?)!
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I find it fascinating that even FOOD is subject to the unrealistic ideals increasingly created/perpetuated by the media. It’s startling to view pictures of what was considered “attractive” just half a century ago, human or otherwise. There is an ever-widening rift between what actual humans and products look like and the fabricated hyperrealistic “paintings” that have taken the place of photographs (I was going to post some human examples, but you get the idea!).

1972 Mattel Saucy Doll

Posted in absurd, dolls, humor, vintage with tags , , , on May 18, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

In 1972, Matell release a the “Saucy Doll;” a little lady who makes strange faces when you lift her left arm (which, arguably, anyone would).

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Judging from this video, it takes quite the effort to get these funny faces to happen (that’s a lot of arm lifting), and most faces can accurately be subsumed under the header of “drunk and disorderly.”

Source

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