Archive for the humor Category

Desktop Goodies 4/17

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, food, humor, kitsch, oddities, photography, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Welcome to this edition of desktop goodies!
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Would you buy Kellog’s corn flakes after seeing a child in the ad who looks like he’s be propped and posed postmortem?
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Antique “eye massager,” for when your eyes need a little therapeutic squishin’!
Eye Massager.

AXOLOTL in a portrait! (See some axolotl info here, and an artistic interpretation here)
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Don’t mind him…he’s really into that “sitting in a wall” thing.
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The most complete system ever? Really?
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I’m going to give you a great life tip here, folks. So listen up: be sure to set the iron to medium heat so as not to burn your crocodile.
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The world’s most wistful butter substitute:
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You can conveniently sell your sister by placing a check mark in the appropriate box.
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Don’t say it, Dana…don’t say this piece of kitsch is…”corny.” D’OH!
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Antique Acquaintance Cards

Posted in antiques, ephemera, humor with tags , , on April 5, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Why did calling cards ever go out of fashion? Sure, we have hundreds of ways to bombard each other with introductions online (or in person…do people still meet that way?), but calling cards had style.

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From The Art of Manliness (wow, what a great blog name!):
In the 19th century, gentlemen used calling cards to formally introduce themselves to new acquaintances and to call upon friends and relatives in a dignified way. But there was another type of card used when a gentleman wanted to get the ball rolling with a lovely lady in a more casual way: the acquaintance card.

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The cards were designed as a comical way for a gentleman to break the ice, start a conversation, and flirt with the opposite sex. Sometimes the humor was overt, and sometimes it derived from the way the messages parodied the formal rules of etiquette — it wasn’t actually considered appropriate to ask for your calling card back or volunteer your escorting services so directly, as some of these cards do.

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Now THIS man is willing to risk his gun, his dog and his shoes to be acquainted with a lady.
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Source
Also, check out this Acquaintance Card Flikr Set!

Heal Yourself Skeletor

Posted in animation, humor, retro, TV with tags , , , on March 21, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Heal Yourself Skeletor is an amazing tumblr. I cannot tell you how much joy I get from looking at this particular character paired with joyous, loving affirmations.

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Skeletor makes a dynamite bodhisattva (and the screenshots are perfect, aren’t they?).

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My favorite:
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See the archive here.

Swamp Pulp

Posted in absurd, Books, film, humor, retro, vintage with tags , , , , , on March 7, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Through dear old Pinterest, I discovered a most unexpected literary (and film!) subgenre: SWAMP PULP.

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Swamps strike me as one of the LEAST sexy ecosystems to cozy up with someone…but what do I know? Swamps are clearly infested with rampant sexuality.
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Apparently there was such a market for this that multiple authors and film makers chose the same swampy titles.

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Oh, we’re still going…

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Yes, there are more…

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Why stop now?

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Are you enjoying yourself? Are you thinking about swamps?

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Not yet? Okay, have some more…

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And this was just the small sample I found. I’m intrigued (not intrigued enough to read about swamp nymphs…but quite astounded that they have been such a prominent feature in dime store novels).

Sharkleberry Fin

Posted in humor, retro with tags , on March 5, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

It takes so little to entertain me. Case in point, I really LOVE that a flavor called “Sharkleberry Fin” exists (or did, anyway). A major drink manufacturer crafted a ludicrous literary pun that invokes strange musings of a mythical sea beast flavored berry. Nice.

I missed this one in the 80′s, as I wasn’t big on Kool Aid. What does a SHARKLEBERRY taste like? Can anyone enlighten me? Don’t say orange-strawberry-banana (the technical flavor aim of the product)…I encourage made up adjectives to describe it.

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Apparently, other flavors in the Kool Aid wildlife collection include Rock-A-Dile Red, Purlesaurus Rex, Great Bluedini, Pink Swimmingo and Incrediberry. This is exactly the kind of absurd thing I’d want to try despite the fact that I am a grown woman.

Tell me your stories with crazy flavors!

Source

Thrice Sliced and Still Kickin’

Posted in announcement, humor, music with tags , , on March 4, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

One year ago, I was pretty certain my health couldn’t get worse. I was bed bound, unable to communicate via speech or typing, barely able to eat and unable to perform the simplest of tasks due to pain. That had to be the low point, right?

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Well, on March 4th I woke up with stomach cramps. By the evening I was doubled over, choking back screams in the ER, until my CT scan revealed an intestinal perforation, requiring open surgery. They tried to delicately explain that the operation I was about to have is one of the worst procedures out there to recover from (even for someone without a CNS disorder that amplifies pain 100 fold). When they went in, they discovered such massive infection that I was mere hours away from going septic and losing my life. It still gets me misty eyed thinking of my father…and my dearest loved ones…getting that news.

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I’ll skip details of the grueling recovery, because the point of this post is gratitude!

I didn’t die.

Nor did I die when they had to go in and do another emergency open surgery for scar tissue obstruction months later! Sheesh.

Nope, didn’t die then either.

After the second operation (which was actually my third major abdominal procedure), when I was painstakingly starting to get up and take my first few steps, I enlisted the help of my best friend and together we made a mini mix of inspiring 80′s “training montage” songs. A few selections:

So when I got up, I’d put my phone in my IV pole tray and have these songs playing as I ventured out into hospital hallways.

…a little much needed comic relief for everyone! It made the pain a tad more bearable to see the laughs, smiles and thumbs up from the staff and fellow patients as I slowly went by.

The past year has been the most astoundingly challenging, and most profoundly revelatory of my life. While pain still prohibits me from joining the land of the living quite yet, in many ways I am starting to heal from an “incurable” illness against all odds. You better believe I will continue that process until I am fully functional. Every little thing feels like a miracle despite the intense pain remaining. Eating, breathing, READING…you name it!

Some of you have been with this blog for the whole trajectory thus far, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here’s hoping that one year from now I will still be sharing arts and oddities, with the newfound freedom of one who has regained life and limbs! I must believe that each and every day, my strange miracle of recovery takes hold a little more.

Alien and Predator as Little Golden Books

Posted in art, Books, humor, sci-fi with tags , , , on February 11, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

If these were actually real…I hope (well, know) my father would have gotten them for me when I was a child.

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(Dad…look at Predator! How excellent is this?)
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Would it be in bad taste to paste these over the covers of books I give to other peoples’ children? Just checking.

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This is a Trent Reznor Song

Posted in humor, music with tags , on January 31, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

Let me preface this by saying NIN was one of my all time favorite bands and I still love [most of] Trent’s creations. I mean no disrespect, posting a parody.

In a fantastic tribute, Frederick Scott nailed the song writing process.

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Or watch, with lyrics:

It’s all in the Pants!

Posted in absurd, advertising, clothing, fashion, humor on January 12, 2014 by bettiemuldoon

Sansabelt is actually making a comeback. Perchance the advertisement is not completely real, but Eldridge Cleaver DID in fact market the “front and center” design below. What more can be said. Discuss amongst yourselves.

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Eldridge Cleaver

Creepmas Day 12: Diamonds of the Sea

Posted in absurd, christmas, decoration, humor, kitsch with tags , , , , on December 12, 2013 by shewalkssoftly

Are you ready for some seriously absurd nouveau-kitsch? Check out the December Diamonds Collection of themed mermen.

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Hmmm…light bondage merman?
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Straight from the gym, all blinged out and ready for “da club.”
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A lollipop? Doctors don’t do that. Trust me…I know.
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You know you’re curious about the rest.

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

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