Archive for the humor Category
Why did calling cards ever go out of fashion? Sure, we have hundreds of ways to bombard each other with introductions online (or in person…do people still meet that way?), but calling cards had style.
From The Art of Manliness (wow, what a great blog name!):
In the 19th century, gentlemen used calling cards to formally introduce themselves to new acquaintances and to call upon friends and relatives in a dignified way. But there was another type of card used when a gentleman wanted to get the ball rolling with a lovely lady in a more casual way: the acquaintance card.
The cards were designed as a comical way for a gentleman to break the ice, start a conversation, and flirt with the opposite sex. Sometimes the humor was overt, and sometimes it derived from the way the messages parodied the formal rules of etiquette — it wasn’t actually considered appropriate to ask for your calling card back or volunteer your escorting services so directly, as some of these cards do.
Through dear old Pinterest, I discovered a most unexpected literary (and film!) subgenre: SWAMP PULP.
Apparently there was such a market for this that multiple authors and film makers chose the same swampy titles.
Oh, we’re still going…
Yes, there are more…
Why stop now?
Are you enjoying yourself? Are you thinking about swamps?
Not yet? Okay, have some more…
And this was just the small sample I found. I’m intrigued (not intrigued enough to read about swamp nymphs…but quite astounded that they have been such a prominent feature in dime store novels).
It takes so little to entertain me. Case in point, I really LOVE that a flavor called “Sharkleberry Fin” exists (or did, anyway). A major drink manufacturer crafted a ludicrous literary pun that invokes strange musings of a mythical sea beast flavored berry. Nice.
I missed this one in the 80′s, as I wasn’t big on Kool Aid. What does a SHARKLEBERRY taste like? Can anyone enlighten me? Don’t say orange-strawberry-banana (the technical flavor aim of the product)…I encourage made up adjectives to describe it.
Apparently, other flavors in the Kool Aid wildlife collection include Rock-A-Dile Red, Purlesaurus Rex, Great Bluedini, Pink Swimmingo and Incrediberry. This is exactly the kind of absurd thing I’d want to try despite the fact that I am a grown woman.
Tell me your stories with crazy flavors!
One year ago, I was pretty certain my health couldn’t get worse. I was bed bound, unable to communicate via speech or typing, barely able to eat and unable to perform the simplest of tasks due to pain. That had to be the low point, right?
Well, on March 4th I woke up with stomach cramps. By the evening I was doubled over, choking back screams in the ER, until my CT scan revealed an intestinal perforation, requiring open surgery. They tried to delicately explain that the operation I was about to have is one of the worst procedures out there to recover from (even for someone without a CNS disorder that amplifies pain 100 fold). When they went in, they discovered such massive infection that I was mere hours away from going septic and losing my life. It still gets me misty eyed thinking of my father…and my dearest loved ones…getting that news.
I’ll skip details of the grueling recovery, because the point of this post is gratitude!
I didn’t die.
Nor did I die when they had to go in and do another emergency open surgery for scar tissue obstruction months later! Sheesh.
Nope, didn’t die then either.
After the second operation (which was actually my third major abdominal procedure), when I was painstakingly starting to get up and take my first few steps, I enlisted the help of my best friend and together we made a mini mix of inspiring 80′s “training montage” songs. A few selections:
So when I got up, I’d put my phone in my IV pole tray and have these songs playing as I ventured out into hospital hallways.
…a little much needed comic relief for everyone! It made the pain a tad more bearable to see the laughs, smiles and thumbs up from the staff and fellow patients as I slowly went by.
The past year has been the most astoundingly challenging, and most profoundly revelatory of my life. While pain still prohibits me from joining the land of the living quite yet, in many ways I am starting to heal from an “incurable” illness against all odds. You better believe I will continue that process until I am fully functional. Every little thing feels like a miracle despite the intense pain remaining. Eating, breathing, READING…you name it!
Some of you have been with this blog for the whole trajectory thus far, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here’s hoping that one year from now I will still be sharing arts and oddities, with the newfound freedom of one who has regained life and limbs! I must believe that each and every day, my strange miracle of recovery takes hold a little more.
If these were actually real…I hope (well, know) my father would have gotten them for me when I was a child.
Would it be in bad taste to paste these over the covers of books I give to other peoples’ children? Just checking.
Sansabelt is actually making a comeback. Perchance the advertisement is not completely real, but Eldridge Cleaver DID in fact market the “front and center” design below. What more can be said. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Are you ready for some seriously absurd nouveau-kitsch? Check out the December Diamonds Collection of themed mermen.
You know you’re curious about the rest.
Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.