Archive for the absurd Category

Desktop Goodies: 2/4

Posted in 80's, absurd, advertising, anatomy, anthropomorphic, art, Books, humor, medicine, oddities, robots, sea, skulls and skeletons, taxidermy, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

You’re being welcomed into this post by anthropomorphic hotdog with breasts.
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As far as I can tell, this is a real vintage ad. Probably one of the most jaw-dropping examples I’ve seen.
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Imagine this is what you’re really standing on.
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I prefer my tables without testicles.
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Don’t miss the other title by this author on the bottom.
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For “elegant women of refinement and taste.”
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Just your average note-wielding mouse on a lobster.
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I’m not sure what’s going on here. Is this a medical assistance device? Unless it’s equipped with some sort of pulley mechanism to lift bodies in need, I see very little purpose for lying on something LESS comfortable, a few inches above something designed for lying on.
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And now, in today’s installment of unappealing instructional material…Meet the man who can tell you how to lick pimples.
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Haunted…
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In conclusion, cats are the cure for everything.
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A Fish With an Accordion

Posted in absurd, art, oddities, vintage with tags , , , , on January 27, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

Today…a fish with an accordion. And a lotus flower. Very little information surrounds this mysterious vintage gem…but it deserves its own post.

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So there you have it.

Desktop Goodies 1/22

Posted in absurd, advertising, antiques, art, comics, creatures, photography, satire, sci-fi, skulls and skeletons, vintage, you can't handle the cute with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 22, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

Yep, these are real birds…
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…not Tribbles with eyes.
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I wanted so much to believe this is an actual album, but sadly I don’t see it on Amazon or YouTube.
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Now THIS is music! I can almost hear their sweet, fruity harmonizing.
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1926 skull clock created by the German Oswald clockmaking workshop. They eyes rotate to tell the time.
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For maximum safety, place your child in a crib that appears to be a cross between a glass coffin and what magicians use to saw people in half.
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A unique abduction? Eye don’t know.
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MONSTER SOUP OF THE THAMES!
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Never neglect your bowels.
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I wish this were part of a large “Things to Do With a Giant Head” photo collection. There are two fine suggestions here:
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The Shadow is a force, indeed.
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The challenges we rarely think of…
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Desktop Goodies 1/14

Posted in absurd, advertising, anthropomorphic, art, Books, craft, creatures, food, humor, nature, photography, sea, skulls and skeletons, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

How NOT to decorate your lobster. I call this Stairway to Hell.
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Gorgeous carving work.
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Enchanting…
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Intriguing…
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If only humans could leave behind the tangible structure of their own transformations to look back on.
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I love how one happy consumer claims that a tablet of soap whittled her waist from 62 to 48 inches.
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But some old ads EMBRACED a little junk in the trunk (how anyone thought the name “CHUBETTES” was a winner for a clothing line, I do not know).
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Tick tock…
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Adorable little skelly and her pet!
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This is amazing in so many ways. Was this mushroom an official mascot of some sort, or just a damn fine costume?
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This looks like something a child would paint in art class.
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Everybody dance now!
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Best search query of the week: “Why is Nicholas Cage on the cover of a Serbian Biology textbook?”
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And Now, One of the Strangest Products Ever

Posted in absurd, medicine, products with tags , , on January 7, 2015 by shewalkssoftly

If you’re at all familiar with this blog, there are many contenders for “strangest product ever” featured here. But this one really surprised me. I was researching hyperbaric oxygen therapy for serious medical conditions (don’t ask), and for some reason that search contained…drumroll please…

The Decompression Chamber Pillow
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I cannot envision any household or office in which this awkward photo of a gargantuan piece of diving equipment with a random stranger operating it belongs on a throw pillow. Maybe I’m just short-sighted.

Here is an “action shot” of the Decompression Chamber Serving Tray:
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And THIS is what graces the tray’s surface. Tell me folks, is this what comes to mind when you’re searching for the perfect wine and cheese serving option?
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It’s times like this when I kind of love humanity. It brings me joy to know people are out there producing completely nonsensical items like this.

It’s a Swing Wing!

Posted in absurd, advertising, toys, vintage with tags , , , on December 29, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

“It’s a WHAT?”, the commercial inquires. An appropriate exclamation for the Swing Wing, as it almost touches effectively upon the sense of bafflement one experiences upon viewing it.

What I have to say about this item was neatly summarized in my response to the loved one who shared it:

D: So…enough people really thought this whiplash-inducing device was a good idea to get the thing patented?

“Mommy, I want to play.”

“Ok darling! Go thrash your head violently and whip your own eyeballs. Here’s a cat o’ nine tails on a hat.”

C: Evidently yes! In fact, cut & paste that hypothetical conversation alongside this video and you’ve got yourself a tidy little SWS post, eh?

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Also from Transogram, their patent-pending Bouncy Running Scissors and Kooky Box O’ Glass Shards. Just kidding. Or maybe not…I don’t know what else they made.

Holiday Desktop Goodies 12/18

Posted in absurd, advertising, candy coated nightmares, christmas, dolls, ephemera, food, humor, kitsch, monsters, photography, vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 18, 2014 by shewalkssoftly

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I think a series of all of the Haunted Mansion Grim Grinning Ghosts would make an excellent ornament collection.
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This image is just perfect: happy tan lady with happy man, angry pale lady, pale lady’s partner not-so-inconspicuously eying her sunkissed rival. Don’tyou want a sun lamp now?
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Amazing relationship advice from the folks at Dormeyer: use tears to manipulate your husband into purchasing household items. Maybe if I fake a sense of victimhood I can score a toaster this Christmas.
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A man who knows what he wants (even the big Kewpie is looking at him like “Seriously, dude?”):
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Holy hell…
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How to traumatize birds:
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And by “Merry” I mean “there are bodies in the basement:”
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This drenched, freezing Yeti standing in a flood may be the most depressing card ever.
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The pudding has broken out in fluid filled pustules.
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And now for the piece de resitance (don’t gloss over this one. Take in every detail):
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