One Got Fat: Bicyle Safety Video, 1963

This is one of the most disturbingly surreal videos I’ve ever seen. Classic mid century “music of the future” plays while a group of kids (in monkey masks) ride their bikes until, one by one, each meets an untimely end. The narration…the visuals…it’s all SO good. This is a must-see for fans of all things strange and unusual.

The names of the characters alone make this worth watching.
Rooty Toot Jasperson
Tinkerbell McDillingfiddy
Stanislaw Higginbottom
Phil Floogyl
Mossby Pomegranate
Trigby Fipps

(and more…I won’t give them all away)

If you’re interested, it was featured in a Boards of Canada video as well:

(Thanks for reminding me this exists, Cat Daddy-O!)

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2 Responses to “One Got Fat: Bicyle Safety Video, 1963”

  1. Hahaha, it’s disturbing how they horribly killed off most of the kids and make it seem delightfully justifiable, not that the neighborhood has dumbass blind drivers murdering kids.

    “So what did we learn today, little Eric?”
    “Gee whiz, I learned I better pay attention more riding or I’ll get killed, badly and gruesomely, too. Also there’ll be hardly anything left of me to bury.
    “That’s right, little Eric. Death is a bitch. Tomorrow we’ll learn all about why you shouldn’t trust the driver of the ice cream truck so much anymore.”

    This joyfully reminds me of my Planet of the Ape Halloween costume. And even more it reminds of my kiddie bike days in Brooklyn and Staten Island. Did you know the name ‘Brooklyn’ is the new most chosen child’s name ? Yep, I don’t like it either. Two thumbs down.

    So you had to have a bike license so the cop’ers can find your bike if it’s stolen? Honest to goodness I had a bike stolen and they never did anything. It was a Huffy Silver Thunder I got as a birthday present. Back then I was freaking cooool riding that bike complete with baseball cards in the spokes to sound like a motorcycle, hence why it got stolen no doubt. Check it out Super Dana! http://bmxmuseum.com/bikes/huffy/30692 .

    I would zoom the neighborhoods on my bike(s), totally disregarding traffic safety; doing mach 1 down hilled streets without braking for crisscrossing intersections; jumping crazy high ramps over broken bottles, rocks, and dog turds, to make it death-defying, like Evel Knievel. “Who the heck is he?” asks everybody not born into 70’s.
    I even pedaled all the way to Clove Lake Park, a punishable act in the parental law book. Stranger Danger! That’ll be 10 belt whacks to your tiny butt flesh now, little Eric, and you can’t ride your bike for a whole month now (high pitched crying ensues). Well, my parents were right, it was the 70s, freaks galore on drugs wanting to take a blue-eyed blonde boy back to their slice and dice shack (or love shack ) in their hopped-up groovy van.

    To finalize, Orville’s actually an asshole. He rides in the back of the pack, even though he clearly is the most responsible. He’s not fazed one bit watching all his friends get killed or hospitalized all day, and then later sits in the park and eats all their lunches with a “couldn’t care a shit look” on his face.

    Yes, I realize it now, there’s a lot of comment here. ;)

  2. bettiemuldoon Says:

    All you promised and more–and it is narrated by the incomparable Edward Everett Horton (who shows a little restraint in this)! A rather grim tale made all the more fun by clever accidents! By the by, I think Filbert’s expression is priceless.

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