RIP Grandma (a.k.a “Gram”)

On Thursday, one of the dearest people in my life passed away: my lovely grandmother (a fellow Pisces, lover of seashells and all-things ocean, hence the following pics (source)).

Starfishes.jpg

Our time together was plentiful, and filled with smiles, laughter, hugs and “I love yous.” I feel a deeper sense of history in her home than my own. It was, from my first sparks of conscious memory to present day, the coziest place in my world. I still long to visit the cookie drawer in the kitchen, take a warm seat beside her and watch the hypnotic movement of her knitting needles. As I grapple for the language to describe our incredible bond, it all falls short.

Seashell.jpg

She saw a great light in me. She saw only light. Whether I walked into her house wearing chunky platform boots and outrageous gothic oddities, or sweatpants and no makeup, she would look at me and say “you’re so beautiful.” She blissfully marveled at every stage of my life, as if I were this brilliant, radiant being that would change the world. In her presence I felt that maybe, just maybe, I could.

Shell.jpg

My heart breaks for the limitations of my physical body at this time, my inability to get on a plane and fly home to my beloved family. But they know that my heart and soul are with them.

Gram, my spirit is swing dancing with you on the astral plane. Your sweet little black sheep loves you beyond words, now and forever.

Cannot type/talk due to severe illness (all words courtesy of voice software or kind typing helpers)…I read and appreciate all comments…Apologies for not being able to respond.

5 Responses to “RIP Grandma (a.k.a “Gram”)”

  1. Lots of hugs to you Dana. I hardly remember my Oma, she died when I was too young, and I envy you’re bond. You were both very lucky to have each other and that kindred spirit.

  2. Keith Hudgins Says:

    She sounds a lot like my “Granny”. I lost her in the 80’s, but every day I drive by her house I expect to see her and her smile on the porch, waiting for me. We were both blessed with great grandmothers. I feel your sorrow and pain, they will be missed much, but so many great memories :)

  3. I’m sorry for your loss and that you can’t be with your family now. I especially liked your closing, referring to yourself as “your sweet little black sheep.” Grams have a lot of love for black sheep when it seems others have little tolerance. She’ll live in your heart forever.

  4. So sorry to hear this. I always loved it at my grandparent’s house (garden). All my best childhood memories are over there.

  5. Oh Dana, what a beautiful heartfelt tribute!

    Truly unconditional love’s so very rare, and all the more special because of that. I know how you must treasure each and every memory of your ‘Gram’ – thank you so much for sharing just a few of them here with us.

    My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Take care of yourself m’dear. -Nx

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