Holiday Horrors Week: Santas

There are literally millions of hideous Santa creations floating around store shelves this time of year. I could not possibly narrow down the new ones (I like to call them Kitsch of the Future), so here are some thrift store finds:

For some reason, people tend to think it’s a good idea to construct decorative unholy chimeras, so I give you the anatomical monstrosity of Violin Santa. It hurts to be him (as indicated by his pained expression).

If you like your Santas brassy, faceless and spread-eagle…someone made an object just for you:

I can’t tell what I find more creepy: Santa’s lean, muscular cyclist physique, or his appearance of having something crammed high into his posterior.

Some people have NO discretion with their fake ice crystals. Santa was clearly just chipped from a block of ice…where he had been trapped lying dead for sometime.

Did someone give you a gourd this past fall, and you’re just now realizing how useless it is? Why not turn it into a subtly patriotic Santa (see American flag on bottom right)?

My thanks to drowningmermaid for providing some of these wonderful treats!

3 Responses to “Holiday Horrors Week: Santas”

  1. The violin Santa has inspired me to make a request: any chance we can get a theme of musical instruments turned into monstrosities?

  2. LOL “If you like your Santas brassy, faceless and spread-eagleā€¦” Somehow this hilarious phrasing has been stuck in my head for days now. Because really, who doesn’t! :)

  3. I love Violin Santa’s disco boots. Where can I get me a pair?

    And I second Notinman’s request for musical instruments turned into monstrosities. I’m sure there’s more out there.

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